Woman live tweets "the worst date of all time"
Kelly Fine was at a restaurant when she noticed people at a nearby table were on a first date. Without meaning to, she overheard some of their awkward conversation.
Then things took a turn for the horrifying, and before long it became clear that the woman was on a date not just with the worst date in existence, but with a full-on possible psychopath, who seemed to be modelling himself on Patrick Bateman.
It starts off awful
There's a couple on their first date at this sushi place and the guy announced "I don't look at menus. And I'm ordering for us." Girl.
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
And gets worse from there.
He asked his date if she wanted dry wine. She said "sake." He said "sweetie I can't make all the decisions for us." She said "...sake?"
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
If only there was some way he could have known this before hand.
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Omg the waitress asked what kind of wine he wanted and he said "you're the aficionado, you tell me."
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
He asked his date if she wanted dry wine. She said "sake." He said "sweetie I can't make all the decisions for us." She said "...sake?"
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Omfg he asked the chef if they had giant clam. They said no. He asked the waitress. She said no. He said " I don't look at menus."
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
The waitress is now dictating the menu to him and his date looks oddly unfazed?
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Oh no he just said something I won't repeat but it started with "any blonde woman that looks at me..."
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Before long, it's revealed he's a full on psychopath.
The woman looked away for a second and he said "look at me. Don't look there, look at me."
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
He asked for deep fried shrimp heads. They don't have it.
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Waitress: do you want a menu sir?
The man and I together: I don't look at menus
Update: this is not a first date, but I am still positive this is a BAD date.
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
At this point Kelly figured out the couple might actually be married.
He's been telling some story about some woman that is a "big bitch" and I think it's her mom???? Are they married?? Her hands are crossed!
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Which is pretty depressing.
She has a ring on but he doesn't but I want to tell her "marriage is just paper you can still leave him. I've seen it happen."
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Wow I'm not sure what I missed but he said "This is why you're both miserable. Put that in the back of your little head."
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Oh but he followed with "I don't care what people say. Words don't matter unless you give them power." I have some powerful words for him
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...
He chewed up the skin of his edamame!!!!!!!
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
The shell part!!!!!!
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
And of course, he's a Trump supporter...
He's talking about how hilarious it will be when he wears his MAGA hat in front of his "friend, a jew."
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
I don't think she voted for Trump but he is bragging about it between edamame shell chews
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
His "friend, a Jew" isn't allowed in his house unless he wears a hat
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Now they're talking about someone named Dana that honestly sounds lovely
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Now they're talking about someone named Dana that honestly sounds lovely
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Oh thank GOD they are not married
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Their food came.
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Her: will you tell me what this is?
Him: no, you just eat it.
Starting to think this guy is Patrick Bateman, the psycho from American Psycho.
She picked up chopsticks and he slapped them out of her "YOU DON'T EAT SUSHI WITH CHOP STICKS"
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Oh no the waitress is trying to get me to leave but how can I possibly
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
The sushi chef asked "are you a chef?" He replied "I'm a drunk!"
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
She keeps asking him what different fish are and he still won't tell her
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
She tried to use chopsticks again and this time he said "DON'T EMBARRASS ME"
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Because yeah, SHE'S the embarrassing one here. Then this terrible date turned full on American Psycho.
Omg omg omg he said one of his brothers (could have meant friend) is in jail for 25 murders. He threw it out so casually.
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Now they're talking about truffles. I can't keep up.
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
My ice cream is good btw
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
The owner of the restaurant came to say hi because he knows the woman
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Girl: this is my friend tony
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Man, who I learned is named tony: why don't you have giant clam
Owner: um
Tony is telling the owner about all the great Japanese food he's eaten and the owner is humoring him like a champ
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Last time Tony went to Japan, he demanded to eat the giant squid head
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Which actually makes sense because if you don't read menus, you don't order food. You demand it.
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
I'm trying to leave but they charged me for edamame I didn't eat. Maybe it's Tony's edamame???
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
He is "introducing himself to a cigarette" outside so I'm going to leave. Thanks for tuning in! We made it!
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016
Then, plot twist...
@KellyeFine so are you going to get his number?
— Richard Kirk (@RichardPKirk) November 17, 2016
@RichardPKirk I'm just going to follow him home
— Kelly Fine (@KellyeFine) November 17, 2016