5 things to expect when moving back in with your parents
Whether you're moving back in with your parents after uni or just for the holidays, this is what you should expect...
5) You'll be treated like you're a child
On some level your parents know you're all grown up now, and have spent the last three years living as an adult. Unfortunately that level is buried deep inside them, layers beneath the part of them who thinks they've "got their little baby back".
When I moved back home after uni it wasn't long before I had my first grown-up, full-time job. I got dressed in my suit ready for my first day, almost ready to go, when my dad burst that bubble by asking "are you sure you don't need to go to the toilet before you leave?" before I could get out the door. Suddenly, I felt like this:
He was right, I did need to go and I'm grateful for the tip, but that was MY decision to make.
It'll happen a lot more often than you'll expect. They'll ask you what time you're getting back home and worry about your safety 24-7 again.
What to do
Expect to be treated like a child until you've proven yourself to be an adult. Start using pauses in conversation to ask them complex questions about mortgages and ISAs.
4) Your parents might become your landlord
There may come a point when you move back home that your parents sit you down to talk. They'll look so awkward you'll think you're in for a new, advanced version of the sex talk, maybe one that covers the events of Fifty Shades of Grey. But no, this talk is much worse. Your parents are about to ask for rent.
This happens to a lot of graduates after they move back home. It's usually a way of getting you to think about budgeting whilst also covering food costs, but looks like a massive hit that you should get out of the house altogether. It's awkward and will make you feel awkward for a while, when you realise you're not only their child but their tenant.
What to do:
The temptation is to smash things (e.g. your dad's precious dishwasher) and tell them that as your landlord it's their responsibility to fix it, before storming off to buy pets strictly prohibited by the tenancy agreement.
Restrain yourself as much as possible. They mean well and are trying to genuinely help you think about what you want to do with your life and where you want to live. Pay the (usually small) amount of rent without causing a big fuss; it's normally a lot less than what you'd pay elsewhere. Plot revenge.
3) It’s harder to make friends
It's harder to make friends when you go back home. A lot harder. You've spent years living at a uni, a place that had thousands of potential friends and nemeses running around you pretty much 24 hours a day for your convenience. Your parents have likely spent a lot of money moving to a place away from human contact altogether. If they could move to this deserted hell-hole, they would:
When you're in work you won't have as much opportunity to meet new people either, and you'll never again have that fresher's week vibe where you could introduce yourself to anyone you meet by listing your A-level grades and then possibly become best friends.
What to do now:
Stay in touch with your uni friends and reconnect with your old ones. If you want to make new friends, however, that's now mainly going to be done through meeting people at work, having children and meeting the parents of their friends, joining knitting circles and meeting dangerous strangers on the internet.
2) Graduate blues
University comes with a lot of illnesses, including freshers flu, second year scurvy and third year thrush. The worst comes shortly afterwards, in the form of graduate blues.
Shortly after graduating there are quite a lot of things that can happen, and most of them tend to lead to the graduate blues.
You could get a job and lose all the free time you used to use for having fun, you could find yourself unemployed for longer than you expected (don't panic, it happens) or you could just plain miss your friends and uni. Either way it can lead to a pretty depressing time.
What to do:
If you do get it, don't worry; graduate blues will pass soon enough, but keep yourself as busy as possible doing things you enjoy. Keep in touch with your friends and talk to your family as much as physically possible. Also google "pug dressed as bumble bee" and see what come up.
We're not saying it'll cure your graduate blues, but we're not saying it won't, either...
1) Your parents house gets too comfortable
It's a little bit too easy to get comfortable at your parents house again. The heating is always on, even when you're feeling too poor to pay the bills, you get meals all the time and (if you're lucky) your washing has begun to magically get done by itself again, after a weird three-year break.
Soon you may realise you're getting a little too comfortable back at home. This has to end, otherwise you'll be there for a long time.
Sure it's warm and you don't have to worry about bills, but you could say the exact same things about the womb; and your mother and science both agree it wouldn't be a great idea for you to live in there till you're forty.
What to do
If you do find yourself getting too comfortable at your parents house, make sure you set yourself a "must leave by date" or a goal for a certain amount of money you should save before you have to move out. Remind yourself that they maybe would like some time to themselves as well.
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