10 ways to cheat on your exams
First off, you definitely shouldn't cheat on your exams. It's morally bad, and you're bound to be caught.
But for amusement purposes only, here are some genuine ways people have cheated in the past, and some classics that are still being done today.
10) Hide your notes in your rubber
First, hollow out your rubber. Then write your notes in teeny tiny little writing. Then jam these notes into your rubber.
Once you're in the exam hall, pretend to be really intensely rubbing out a mistake, whilst really you're reading the complete works of Shakespeare (unabridged).
9) Write on the inside of your water bottle label
Write anything you may need for the test on the inside of your water bottle. If anyone notices, regurgitate Coke (yes, Pepsi is ok too) above the label line and no-one will be any the wiser.
8) Hide your phone inside a hollowed-out calculator
Step one: Hollow out your calculator.
Step two: Jam your phone in there.
Step three: Take a course that requires a calculator. This won't work in an English exam.
Step four: Google the answers.
7) Write the answers on a plaster
Examiners are unlikely to check your flesh wounds, so write the answers on the back of a plaster. If they ask to see it, tell them how gross your wound is until they get squeamish. Mention "I think I saw bone" and they'll usually leave you alone.
6) Learn braille
Step one: Ask someone with a brail typewriter to write out your revision notes in brail on a bit of plastic.
Step two: Put the plastic in your exam trousers.
Step three: Learn brail.
Step four: Read answers by putting your hands inside your exam trouser pockets. If anyone mentions this odd behaviour, tell them you have an itch.
5) Write the answers in the toilet near your exam hall
Step one: Write all the answers in all the toilets near your exam hall.
Step two: Go to the toilet and memorise the answers.
Step three: Realise you could have memorised the answers during revision.
Step four: Sit on the toilet for the rest of the exam, assessing your life-choices.
4) Carve the answers into your shoe
Take the shoe off first. You don't want to be able to read the answers off your feet.
4) Hollow out a casio
Hollow out a Casio watch, and put a scroll in there instead. Scroll using the knobs, and if anyone notices, ask "what time zone am I in?". Try to sound genuinely confused.
2) Strap your notes to your legs
Try not to rustle.
1) Buy yourself a massively suspicious "book on a ring"
And wait to get kicked out for cheating.
Like this? Course you do! Now how about some freebies?