University spends £57,196 on biscuits in year and a half
University College London (UCL) spent almost £60,000 on biscuits in under two years, an investigation has revealed, whilst Exeter spent an appallingly low £6,000.
An investigation by Pi Media (UCL's student newspaper) found that UCL spent £57,196.75 on biscuits between January 1, 2014 and October 7, 2015, ordering "wrapped biscuit selections" costing £41,974.95.
Perhaps most appalling of all, they spent £1,617.00 on the worst of all biscuits: oatmeal and raisin biscuits.
Figures collated by Pi Media, for some reasons showing a £0 spend on kosher biscuits.
The “classic wrapped biscuit selection”, costing UCL a hefty £10,546.55, was ordered 23,194 times, while the “wrapped biscuit selection” (apparently not classic), which cost £41,974.95, was ordered 76,238 times. That’s enough for every UCL student to have two wrapped biscuit selections, with some left over.
The biscuit budget could have covered over two student's undergraduate degree tuition fees, and a gob-smackingly low amount (£0) was spent on ginger nuts, the best biscuit available to humanity.
Exeter, meanwhile spends an embarssingly low £6,000 per year on biscuits
A separate investigation this week found that The University of Exeter spent almost £6,000 on biscuits in 2015.
Student newspaper Expose put in a freedom of information request and found that the University spent less than 10% of UCL's biscuit spend, despite its claim to be a prestigious university (in which you'd expect to find a lot of biscuits.
To their shock, the uni spent a tiny amount on biscuits - and worse - didn't hold data on what kinds of biscuits they were buying.
"Big and chunky" scandal
"Unfortunately the University does not hold record of the exact number of biscuits purchased, meaning a cost-per-biscuit calculation is not possible.
"However, an investigation by this reporter revealed that had the biscuits been McVitities [sic] Hobnobs and purchased at the Guild Shop (priced at 75p per packet), then this would amount to 7,706 packets of biscuits, or 154,133 biscuits in total. Had the University opted for the slightly pricier Maryland 'Big & Chunky' cookies (priced at £1.99 per packet), they would have been able to purchase 2,904 packets, or 22,236 biscuits in total."
Despite the relatively low biscuit spend, students were still outraged. Andrei, a third-year studying computer science said:
“They could at least spend that money on something useful, like increasing study spaces on campus, but I guess that’s just the way the cookie crumbles.”
The news comes at a time when the UK is undergoing a biscuit shortage crisis, after floods at a factory in Carlisle- making the Universities look like callous Englishmen, decadently guzzling their potatoes during the Irish potato famine of 1849.