16 things you do at uni (which would get you instantly fired at work)
You can get away with a lot of stuff at uni which would get you fired the moment you do it at work. No more secretly chugging beer before meetings or sleeping where you work. Sad times.
16) Not turning up on days that start before 10am
Hate to break it to you, 9am is no longer considered unreasonably early once you start work. Even though it clearly is unacceptably early.
15) Setting up a sleeping space on the office floor
It's hard to get woken up. Even harder to get woken up to "pack your book-pillow, you're fired".
14) Or on your desk
This should be acceptable at work. It's your desk, it should be up to you how you use it.
13) Even sneaking off for a quick toilet nap in the office toilet is frowned upon
Even if you multi-task.
12) Not showing up for three days a week because you're hungover
From here on out hangovers are known as "flu".
11) Or your methods for dealing with hangovers
No matter how effective it is, it will get you fired.
10) Coming in despite the hangover, only to throw up in the bin and/or toilets
Or sleeping in the office in a device of your own making...
9) Wearing your pyjamas to meetings
Boss - "Pyjamas? At work? What a fun idea! I'm just kidding, you are of course fired."
8) Forcing new people to do horrendous "initiations"
Spending the whole time at work on Facebook looking at pictures of your night out.
7) Spending the whole day watching crap online and pretending to work
This'll work for about a week before you're in for a firing.
6) Making up drinking games to play during work, then strictly enforcing them
The boss is rarely up for this.
5) Claiming your printer is broken, therefore you should have an extension
You broke it. You broke the printer.
4) Telling your colleagues what Marx would have thought of their idea
Quoting Marx in meetings is no longer acceptable. It'll lead people to bewilderment, and bewilderment will lead to firings.
3) Not doing the reading
Fortunately at work most documents are in pop-up book form.
2) Drawing on your work clothes
At uni it's acceptable to colour in sock-holes with a marker pen. At work, at the very least, your boss will sit you down and tell you they know your clothes are drawn on and demand a written explanation.
1) Falling asleep whilst your boss is talking
Probably the biggest no-no in terms of work etiquette.
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