The 15 funniest Sir Micheal Caine tweets of all time
Introducing your new favourite thing - reading tweets from Micheal Caine in a Michael Caine voice.
16.
fuck space & anybody who goes up there. drinking your own piss & wearing shower caps all day you should be ashamed of yourselves
— Micheal Caine (@mikealfredcaine) May 5, 2016
15.
i'd punch james bond in the throat if he tried ordering me about like that, i'll stir your vodka drink with my dick if i want to its my pub
— Micheal Caine (@mikealfredcaine) October 16, 2016
14.
homeless fella stopped me in the street (well where else is he gonna stop me) & asked if i had some change. i told him i had fuck loads
— Micheal Caine (@mikealfredcaine) November 5, 2016
13.
off to the clinic because i was doing a shit in a mcdonalds toilet & when i pinched it off my dick flexed upward & hit the seat
— Micheal Caine (@mikealfredcaine) November 22, 2016
12.
i'm twice as strong as your dad, your dad cowers when i walk into the room. looks down at his feet, avoids eye contact, your weak little dad
— Micheal Caine (@mikealfredcaine) November 27, 2016
11.
fuck snakes, get some legs or fuck off back to angry worm town
— Micheal Caine (@mikealfredcaine) September 8, 2016
10.
i said what have u been smokin, he said "i'm high on life, michael" i said u'll be high on death u address me like that again, its sir caine
— Micheal Caine (@mikealfredcaine) November 26, 2016
9.
at the zoo & i just got asked to leave for telling a panda to fuck off
— Micheal Caine (@mikealfredcaine) September 19, 2016
8.
What are your favourite music
— Michael Caine (@themichaelcaine) June 9, 2011
7.
thinking of all the bees out there that are dying, a species on the verge of extinction. good, fuck off you spikey ass fuckers
— Micheal Caine (@mikealfredcaine) October 2, 2016
6.
my balls are a mess. i know what you're thinking, "sir micheal caine your balls are probably majestic" but they're not, they are a disaster
— Micheal Caine (@mikealfredcaine) October 10, 2016
5.
You
— Michael Caine (@themichaelcaine) July 10, 2016
4.
Just read another story about me being locked in attick, completely false.
— Michael Caine (@themichaelcaine) May 17, 2012
3.
its difficult to fuck in a wheelbarrow, sooner or later that things going over & you got yourself one very angry badger
— Micheal Caine (@mikealfredcaine) December 10, 2016
2.
lot of idiots who dont know how to play on the stock market, listen close: buy stocks, sell them on the market for big money
— Micheal Caine (@mikealfredcaine) October 23, 2016
1.
just did a big shit in a wheelbarrow, gonna tell ppl it came from a horse & they'll be all "what kind of horse is it" while admiring my shit
— Micheal Caine (@mikealfredcaine) October 24, 2016