The 10 Most Student-y Things You'll Do This Year
by Lizzi Hart, marketing assistant at the Graduate Recruitment Bureau.
Whether you’re returning for another year, or just about to start, University will soon be the catalyst for many weird habits and shortcuts into laziness. Your family would be shocked if they found out, but just face the music because - sorry - you will no doubt end doing these things. It's just how it goes. This year you will…
1. Eat directly from the saucepan
If not today, there will be a day in the future when no plates are clean (see point 5), meaning you'll eat directly from the saucepan... *dramatic music*. You may burn your lap when you forget it’s a saucepan, but hey, it's a little more magical than using a plate and you'll live up to your destined student reputation.
2. Nap after an exhausting 2 hour day
Lectures are hard; we know. And the journey to and from is just as draining. You'll immediately be struck by the urge to sleep - and absolutely anywhere will do. Cars, hallways, toilets – you get the idea. In a few hours you’ll awake feeling even sleepier, but come the night you'll be wide awake. Thanks a bunch, universe.
3. Wash your duvet once in 6 months... tops
Screw up your nose in disgust all you like - but it’s going to happen. Especially if you only have one set - a duvet takes up almost an entire load of washing, so who can afford to wash their bedding? Thank goodness for Febreeze.
4. Use the first available household object to stir your tea
No teaspoons? No problem. Anything that is vaguely stick shaped will do - a pen, a lighter, a used spatula (think of all the extra goodness that comes with it!) It if doesn’t dissolve into your drink, you’ll be fine. Now, take a victory sip!
5. Go days without washing your dishes
There’s probably a small crevice in your room where your dishes disappear from your sight (eg. under your bed, underneath other rubbish, behind your door). Or maybe you’ve forgotten which pan in the pile next to the sink was yours. Either way, you’ll forget and have to wait until the kitchen fairy comes round.
6. Buy new underwear instead of washing it
As we’ve already established that laundry only occurs twice a year, buying new undies is a student staple. Your other options include hand-washing them in the sink or stealing your housemates’ (not recommended).
7. Drink out of anything you can find
Be it a vase, a measuring jug or a plate – students will drink out of anything. As the washing piles up, expect your standards to lower as ever more unusual vessels become used for drinks.
8. Go from Prince to Pauper in one term
'Yay – thousands of pounds for me to spend!'… Two months later: 'Do I eat, or pay rent?' Unless you’re a fearless budgeter, you'll likely find yourself living off of rice and ketchup. Try and limit what you spend on non-essentials, and put your rent money into savings so as not to eat (pun intended...) away at it.
9. Meet loads of new people; forget their names instantly
Remember that time when you met your friend’s friend’s friend? No? Time to pretend, my friend.
10. Steal loo roll
As running out of loo roll becomes a weekly event in your house, your hunter-gatherer instincts will kick in. No, we don't mean going to the effort of actually headed to a shop to buy some - that would be silly. It means that no matter where you are, be it club, bar, fast-food joint or otherwise, you'll happily consider the idea of stealing some of their abundant stock of toilet paper. Hey, it's tough out there... you gotta do what you gotta do.