Student completes dissertation in 48 hour binge
Anyone who still hasn't finished their dissertation, fear not - this graduate managed to start and finish his dissertation within 48 hours.
Paddy Hillyer managed to get a 2:1, even though he left his dissertation to just two days before the deadline, spending 60 hours awake in order to do the entire thing.
However this method might not be for everyone - he also hallucinated and his skin turned yellow during the process, and described it as "the worst time" of his life.
Paddy managed to procrastinate his way from the start of the year, right up to his dissertation deadline. “Then it got to the week before and every time I sat down I just kept finding fun things to read, and reasons not to start,” he told the Leicester Tab.
At that point finally realised he should probably get cracking.
10,000 words on Neo-Artistotelian Virtue Ethics
Paddy's 10,000 philosophy wasn't going to write itself, so, with a week to go, he stocked up on the supplies he needed: Energy drinks, snacks and cigarettes. Things like "academic texts" were going to have to wait.
“I had read one whole book on the general area. I spent about 70 or 80 per cent of the night doing the first third, with references and all that kind of academic stuff like your supposed to." He told student newspaper the Tab.
“And then running out of time with no chance to read any more books I built a whole argument from there freestyle with no references to any other texts.”
But it wasn't all clean sailing from there. With no sleep, by the second day of his dissertation he was starting to hallucinate tiny men running across his desk.
“I saw a little man running around with a big top hat. Across my desk."
Sleep deprivation, especially when combined with the stress of having to complete a dissertation in a ridiculously tiny time frame, can often cause hallucinations in adults, which Paddy discovered.
“I saw a little man running around with a big top hat. Across my desk. I wish I was joking. I never saw him directly – always out the corner of my eye. Called him big hat man.”
Big hat man, unfortunately, wasn't there to help, and Paddy had to struggle on alone. He spent the rest of his time ploughing on through his essay, without referencing or any of the other things you are definitely supposed to do in an essay.
Nearly scraped a first
Bizarrely, the Warwick graduate managed to almost scrape a first with a final grade of 68. But he definitely wouldn't recommend it to everyone:
“I was physically shaking by the end, and despite being two days without sleep, I didn’t manage till sleep again till a day later," he warned.
“I spent about £100 that night on sugary snacks, drinks and cigs in total and my skin went a kind of yellow colour.”
“Where most were stressed about their dissertation for months, I was only stressed for days. But it was the worst time of my life, beyond a fucking nightmare. Don’t do it.”
Paddy now has a philosophy to his name and incentive to not procrastinate quite so much in the future. Big Hat Man was unavailable to comment.
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