Muggle applies to Hogwarts, gets brutal rejection from UCAS

A muggle who tried to apply to "Hogwarts" on their university applications received a brutal rejection letter from Ucas.

The letter informs the applicant that their application to the institution cannot be processed as the institution "does not exist" and then goes on to explain why even if it did exist, the applicant would have trouble getting in there anyway.

Even more disappointingly, they didn't even send the rejection letter via owl.

"We wish you every success," with your bleak muggle existence.

Brutal rejection

Ucas informed the student that though "wandology" doesn't in fact exist, if it did exist they doubt he would make the required grades anyway, as he'd need to get a high grade in "shaft design" and "mystimatics", which isn't even on the Hogwarts syllabus.

They suggest that his abilities in "wearing a pointy hat and waving a stick about" are not equivalent to Defence Against the Dark Arts or History of the Occult.

The letter then asks that the muggle strap next year's application to an owl and let it fly away. Which is the polite way of saying "please don't contact us again."