The 28 terrible stages of writing an essay
So you left your essay to the last second again, huh? Get ready to go through all 28 stages of the last minute essay...
28) Announcing to everyone that you're finally doing your essay
27) Watching Netflix until it says "are you there" and feeling shamed into actually starting your essay
Don't judge me.
26) Opening Word
25) Opening every link on the internet
24) Answering the door to a friend and pretending to work
23) Updating your status to "there is literally nothing worse in the world than writing an essay"
22) Remembering your essay is on genocide
21) Updating your status to "there is nothing worse in the world than writing an essay, other than genocide"
20) Checking how many people liked your status
19) Deleting status
18) Disabling the internet for your own good
17) Staring blankly at a mirror in order to entertain yourself
16) Sigh heavily and open word
15) Forget everything you know about your subject entirely
14) Stare at the title then spend an hour re-wording it with the phrase, 'In this essay, I will be discuss...' in front of it
13) Deciding to type everything you know and then edit it down to a good essay afterwards
12) Lose all hope
11) Getting angry at everyone else for not struggling with their essays
10) Realise you absolutely have to get this essay done right now
9) Make food even though you're not hungry
8) Find all your sources on Wikipedia
7) Remember there are rules about using Wikipedia
6) Write in a frenzy
5) Reading your essay back to yourself
4) Realise it's still nowhere near the word count, and add in more adjectives
3) Pad word count with chunks of text you've found on Google Scholar. Change the wording slightly and try not to think about plagiarism
2) Congratulate yourself
1) Hand it in
Procrastinating? Check out these 16 fun free and funny websites to procrastinate on...