Are these the most f*cked up wrong number texts of all time? Yes.
Blair Smith, from Scotland, received a message from one of his friends on Monday. It was more aggressive than he expected from his friend Kenzie.
It included the phrases "get tae fuck ya goblin" and "ya king kong looking prick". Fortunately, there was an obvious explanation for the bizarrely aggressive texts. They weren't meant for him.
Wrong number bro x pic.twitter.com/mYAqVL1wrJ— Blair (@Blairsmith1875) January 9, 2017
For those who can't understand the texts (because apparently there's a lot of people who can't understand basic Scottish)...
what the heck does this mean https://t.co/n0B0fCNHdF— kayla🥑 (@localdad49) January 10, 2017
I swear Scottish people speak a completely different language😂 https://t.co/oRSPWEEndb— kayleigh✿ (@kazzalouise) January 10, 2017
This is literally unreadable, can people actually read this? Please help me https://t.co/qSivfXZyMH— Olly (@OllyOllyOllyy) January 11, 2017
Is that even English cos I can't understand a thing https://t.co/2MvVGL1D2O— M✌️ (@marissadmiles) January 10, 2017
...It translates into the Queen's English roughly as:
You know what, mother? Get the fuck out of here you goblin. You're driving me loony tunes. It was only ten pounds sterling, it's not like it made you bankrupt you c-word, know what I mean? I'll fucking give it back to you once I've been paid, you moron. In fact I shouldn't even be giving it you back after the fucking fiasco the other night. If anything you owe me money for the bed. You look like King Kong you prick.
Don't you come in my room either because I'll likely strike you with my left hand and then shortly afterwards the right hand if I see you again this evening.
Oh balls, sorry Ben, that was meant for my mother.
Yep, the messages were meant for his mother. He meant his maw was a "king kong looking PRICK".
Connor McKenzie apologised profusely to Blair for the mistake. And sort of defended the texts.
The messages, which are most likely a joke, have almost certainly now been seen by his mother after they went viral.