Embarrassing scenes as creepy photographers stalk students during Freshers' Week
As freshers' week hits, reporters with nothing better to report on have been walking student cities trying to capture photos of freshers doing dumb sh*t whilst drunk.
A photographer managed to catch photos of a man doing a poo in the street, which he then sold to the Sun and Star. Even though there's no way of knowing whether the pooer was a student (there's no way he produced student ID during said act of defacation, or got involved in a discussion on what course he was enrolled in) the Star included the photo in an article titled:
"Pooing in the streets and eating chips off the pavement: Welcome to Freshers' Week"
The man in the article, as you can see, is plainly 30-40 years old.
"There are literally no other stories to report on right now, so you'd better go photograph some drunk teenagers and claim you're outraged by their behaviour"
As another year of uni hits, reporters have been under pressure to claim that there's carnage going on all over the country in order to get some outrage clicks.
Not to disappoint, The Sun reported on this guy in a wheelbarrow like it was absolute f*cking mayhem, rather than a gardener taking a rest.
The Star captioned that one: "STREETS: Students tore up the streets of Liverpool for their Freshers Week." Chaos.
As well as walking the streets, waiting for someone to take a wee in an alleyway and then photographing it, the reporters also took photos of what appears to be a group of conscientious girls picking up some chips and then claimed that they were eating them off the floor.
There are no pictures of anyone eating said chips off the floor. Nor did the ladies in question flash their library card towards the camera or confirm their student number.
Reporters at other newspapers took the slightly classier route of not including any photos of people defecating against a shop, instead describing people sitting on the floor and texting as "chaos"
So if you're out and about for freshers' week, try not to do anything. No vomiting, no getting drunk, no texting and no walking and certainly no picking up chips you've dropped. Because there are reporters out there who've got traffic targets to hit and are more than happy to take a photo of you doing a poo, and then claim you're a fresher.