Man spends 3yrs sculpting bush into 18ft penis - finally happy with the tip
A man has spent three years sculpting a bush into an 18ft penis, says he is finally happy with the tip.
Chris Bishop, pictured hugging the balls, spent over three years sculpting the 5.5m pork sword out of a bush, despite protests from his neighbours about his masterpiece.
Rather than admiring the hard work that went into the penis, or the sheer length, one neighbour said they found it extremely offensive:
"Him and his mates thought it was hilarious. I find it very offensive, remarks are always made by people coming past. It’s a massive eye-sore."
Specifically, he and his friends found it funny for the full three years it took to sculpt the penis.
It's unclear why it took Chris, who is a tree surgeon, over three years to sculpt the hedge into a penis shape, considering how similar a bush looks to a Long Dong Silver in the first place.
You'd make one too if you lived in Worcestershire...
Chris did the sculpture at his house in Worcestershire, where entertainment is admittedly scarce. The 43 year old says he spent the majority of that time working the tip, making sure he'd sculpted it just right, but says he'd gladly hack it off if anyone complained.
"If it caused any offence I would chop the head off. I don’t want to offend anyone, I just want to make them smile."
Other neighbours were less offended with the 18ft tall trouser-snake towering above their garden.
Neighbour Emily Cooper, said: "To be honest with you once you’ve seen one [18 ft tall penis] you’ve seen them all."
The meat baton in all it's glory. Chris, 42, is single if you're wondering, and hasn't yet revealed who modelled for the sculpture, if anyone is interested.
The single tree surgeon said he just wanted to do some sculpting for himself for once:
"I’m a tree surgeon and spend my whole time trimming other people’s bushes."
Once the shrub has grown some more, Chris plans to add in a set of testicles at the base.