Lecturers tell Reddit the craziest things they've seen in a lecture
By Leah Scott
It’s that time of year again. Most students will be moving to a new city and getting settled in at the moment - and, no doubt looking forward to Fresher’s Week.
So while you’re getting drunk and staying out til the sun rises, it’s important to remember that no matter how hungover you turn up to a lecture, and no matter what weird outfit/makeover you’re sporting from the night before, the lecturer has probably seen weirder.
Lecturers of Reddit were asked ‘What’s the most bizarre thing you’ve seen a student do in one of your lectures?’ - these are some of our favourite responses.
We need to taco-bout your exam paper
my dog got a taco costume😭 pic.twitter.com/V1QTh4aBSg— meadow (@meadowarriaga) September 6, 2016
This is nacho average lecture story.
"I was a TA for a calculus class a few years ago. With just under 10 minutes to go in a 50 minute midterm exam, a student bursts into the classroom dressed in a taco costume, sweating, completely out of breath, grabs a test from the front desk and starts to frantically write. At first I thought it was some prank and I tried to kick him out. Turns out he was enrolled in the class and apparently just passed out at a Halloween party the night before and woke up with no time to change clothes. I let him take the test in the remaining 7 or so minutes.
Grade distribution was average of ~75% with one guy scoring 18% and the next lowest at 54%. Plot twist: Taco dude didn't score the 18%."
The lecture starts at 4:20
"Have you been smoking weed?"— Weed Porn (@ThaMarijuana) September 13, 2016
Me: nah pic.twitter.com/U4dCbpzDOL
“There was a large Hawaiian kid who attended my professor's Multivariate Statistics class that would roll joints under his desk.”
Pottery lecture slip-up
If you don't have a strong stomach, we recommend you skip the next one.
“A student in my pottery class slipped with edged scoop tool and removed a large chunk of his finger flesh, but I didn't know that at the time.... I guess he was embarrassed and didn't want to cause a scene, so he quickly stuck the cut finger in his mouth and swallowed the blood.
This must have continued for a few minutes until I made my rounds to see how the class was doing. I noticed he wasn't really working, or he was trying to with one hand, so i asked if everything was all right. Of course his finger was in his mouth, and his mouth was full of blood, so he couldnt give a verbal answer, but he looked up at me with concern in his eyes. I quietly asked "did you cut yourself" and he humbly nodded yes. I prompted him to go to the shop bathroom where there is first aid supplies, thinking it could be patched up with some gauze.
Just after I dismissed him, he gagged a little and proceeded to throw up what looked a gallon of gelatinous red-black blood all over the linoleum floor, it was an instant crime scene. Everyone freaked out, most left the class because they were close to fainting or puking at the sight of it all, I mean it was a comical amount of blood on the floor. Anyways the kid's finger was still very much cut and was just shy of actually spraying blood. I grabbed a shop rag and wrapped it as tighly as I could around his finger and told him to keep pressure on it. The rag went red in less than a minute. Ambulance was called. Kid threw up again. Classroom looked like there was blood orgy..”
Morning lectures, right?
Went to class still drunk and my professor asked me if I was okay in the middle of her lecture pic.twitter.com/yPp1xA2m1n— NutMeg (@MeghanKatelynnn) September 9, 2016
Of course this list was going to include vomiting. What did you expect?
“A guy at my college came into my morning class about 45 minutes late and looking pretty messed up from the night before. He proceeded to stumble to his desk and attempted to sit down. Instead he missed the desk, fell on the the floor and then threw up.”
Funnel of Doom
Many became a victim to the funnel of doom pic.twitter.com/DoyJ2o5XTp— Matt (@MattyLynam) April 13, 2016
Probably not this type of Funnel of Doom, though.
“I have a professor that asks students who use laptops to move to the back of the room. Why you ask? Because of an incident he has since named "The Funnel of Doom."
There was a students a few years ago who sat in the center of the room and proceeded to play Doom for the entirety of the lecture. Everyone behind him was not taking notes, they were watching this kid play Doom. He single-handily distracted 3/4 of a 100 student lecture. Hence, "The Funnel of Doom."”
There's something bugging me
mfw the bug was caused by the code designed to _prevent_ the bug from happening 😭 pic.twitter.com/XC7Xg995g9— Cryptkeeper! (@ItsCryptkeeper) September 13, 2016
“I was in a CS class and a guy I didn't recognize came in halfway through and sat down next to me. The professor was coding on his laptop, which was projecting on a screen in the front of the lecture hall.
All of a sudden, the guy stood up, pointed at the screen and exclaimed, "There's a bug in the code! A bug!" The professor calmly stated, "Oh, he's right. I missed a semicolon." The guy then walked out of class and the professor just said, "Huh. I guess he came just to point out that one bug."”
Students do the funniest things
i just walked into class with two things of hashbrowns and my professor is laughing as i eat them pic.twitter.com/eVc31UmFuE— Brittany (@xkidbrittany) September 12, 2016
“Student here. A kid in my class or up in the middle of a lecture and interrupted the professor and says "how can everyone sit here with that beautiful sunset happening right now. I have to go watch it." He gets up leaves all of his stuff then goes outside comes back 20 minutes later and tries to show the professor pictures of the sunset. The professor couldn't stop laughing. He also did many other strange things.”
Schmidt is so cool look at him parkour pic.twitter.com/oeMhdw2xKv— Monica :') (@moniccaaa__) June 28, 2016
“I'm an adjunct professor at a few different schools in the NYC area. One spring semester I was teaching an astronomy course. I had a particularly . . . enthusiastic student. He interrupted class about as often as he contributed, so it balanced out. One day, he saw a young woman outside that he wanted to talk to. So, he walked over to the window and climbed out.
Fortunately, the classroom was on the first floor. I was so shocked, I just watched him do it. He climbed out the window, walked over to the girl, chatted a bit, and then (I take this as a testament to his interest in my class) he headed back towards the window to return to class. I waved him off and told him to go use a door like a human being. He came back and I went on with class.
At the end of lecture, he stayed behind to apologize and show me his his new ADD meds. Apparently they weren't working that well. So, beautiful woman makes the guy climb out a window, but science brought him back!”
You've got a bangin' body
I RETRACT MY OFFER TO DONATE MY BODY TO SCIENCE!
Hearing explosions reverberate through the building was a normal occurrence for several of my lectures. One day there were a lot of particularly loud explosions, so our professor told us about the cause. Apparently someone was doing research on how explosive shock waves effect the human body and we were hearing them blow up cadavers.
I'm always sleeping at my desk
"We had an exchange student who was suppose to go back to china living in an old oversized podium desk thing at the back of a large lecture hall for several weeks in one of the campus buildings. He was caught after stealing a laptop out of a professors office and they tracked it down while he was using it. "It's coming... From inside the building..."
Like this? This lecture hall sleeping shelf story is MAD.