11 incredibly honest dissertation titles

Students have been sharing what they'd have titled their dissertation if they were being honest about it.

11) Frogs glow for some reason, and then sometimes they don't

Real title: “Cloning and Characterisation of the mir106~363 MicroRNA Cluster From Xenopus tropicalis”

10) People like to get drunk

Real title: "From Intoxication to Sobriety: An examination of the Early Modern English Coffeehouse and Alehouse as part of the broader beverage market" - History student, University of York

9) Use vases, not ovens if you don't want flowers to die

Plants aren't for ovens.

8) Don't put electricity into fish tanks

Jellyfish aren't Edison fans.

7) Nerds say nerd things

Real title: “Membership of Subculture as Made Evident Through Referential Verbal Cues”

6) "In conclusion... I learned nothing."

"No, that's no good... In conclusion, bikes have wheels and houses don't."

5) Rocks are old, yo?

Real title: “Detrital Zircon Evidence for Mixing of Mazatzal Province Age Detritus with Yavapai (ca. 1700-1740 Ma) and Older Detritus in the ca. 1650 Ma Mazatzal Province of Central New Mexico, USA”

4) Proteins are shifty little shitbags

Dissertation title: “Structure-Function Studies of the AIP-Survivin Complex”

3) Carry a clipboard with you at all times if you want to look smart

Real title: 'What a sitcom can do for science and vice versa’

2) Stop deleting your DNA

Actual title: “Using Zinc Finger Nucleases to Characterize the Regulation of c-MYC Transcription”

1) Sunburn caused by sun. Bad sun make burn on skin, ow, bad sun.

“In Vitro Models for Investigating Keratinocyte Responses to Ultraviolet B Radiation”

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