If you've bought these 11 things, you've accidentally funded the Tories...
Turns out we might all have been accidentally funding the Tory Party (whether you're conservative or not). The electoral commission have published a list of Tory donors, including several very well known companies.
If you've bought these 11 things, you've sent money to the Conservatives, and have eaten, fashioned or read the Conservatives victory at the last election...
11) Melton Mowbray Pork Pies and Ginsters Pies
If you've ever eaten a Melton Mowbray or Ginster product, congratulations, you've helped pie the conservatives to election victory. Your depressing meal has helped contribute to the Conservatives winning the last general election.
In total the owners of the pie companies, the Samworth Brothers, have donated over £650,000 to the Conservative party, with £32,000 coming directly from the company itself. Think about that next time you sit down alone and microwave yourself a depressingly limp cornish pasty.
10) Autotrader magazine
Car fan? If you get your car news from Autotrader you are getting money to the Tories. Autotrader is owned by Apax, which is by Tory donor Adrian Beecroft. Beecroft has donated £593,000 to the Tories, and has written a report for number 10 recommending that workers rights be scrapped so that companies can fire workers when they feel like it.
9) Next clothes
Next CEO Lord Wolfson has donated more than £400,000 to the Tories since 2006, and was made a Conservative peer by David Cameron in 2010. His wife Eleanor Shawcross is a key advisor to Chancellor George Osborne.
Next made record £695m profits last year and is facing a trade union campaign by the GMB trade union to pay a living wage to staff.
8) Any Womble products
If you've bought any Womble music (who hasn't) or listened to "Remember You're a Womble" in order to remind yourself that you're a Womble, you have inadvertently given money to the tories.
Mike Batt, who wrote six Womble albums, has donated £112,500 to the Tories.
If you've bought any Warburton's bread, you are giving Cameron et al money. Delicious bread money.
The company (who make the best goddamn crumpets on the planet - bar none) gave the Tories £25,000 before the 2010 election. Mmm, deliciously sliced, slightly Euro-skeptic bread.
6) Woking football club
If you support Woking (and who doesn't? Go the Wokes! Woke on!) you support the Tories. Even though Cameron pretends to support Aston Villa (and sometimes West Ham), Woking owner Chris Ingram has donated nearly £175,000 of his earnings to the Tories since 2008.
5) Soreen malt loaf
If you're into delicious old people food, are you in for disappointment. Malt loaf is also owned by the Samworth Brothers, who donated £650,000 to the Conservatives.
The search continues for a non-politically aligned malt-loaf.
4) Crombie coats
This one is a little less surprising, as it's impossible to wear a Crombie coat without looking like a Tory, but if you buy Crombie coats you are funding the Conservative party. Crombie are owned by former Tory vice-chairman Alan Lewis. Alan has donated £246,000 to the Tories.
Best stick to puffer jackets if you don't want to fund the Conservatives.
Lycamobile? Lycathetories more like. Lycamobile is a phone network set up in 2006, who sell international sim cards.
The company has donated a massive £827,562 to the Tory party between 2011 and December 2015.
If you've ever gambled using Betfair and lost, your loss has been the Tories gain. Meaning the Conservatives are actively rooting for you to lose at online roulette.
Betfair founder Edward Wray has donated almost £210,000 of Betfair losers' money to the Tories since 2010.
Don't gamble, kids. Especially if you're not a Tory.
1) Karl Lagerfeld clothes
If you've ever bought any Karl Lagerfeld clothes (side note: my god that 81 year old man looks good) you have inadvertently donated to the Tories. The label is also owned by Apax, who
Not the 81 year old fashion designer, but the fashion label itself. It's also owned by Apax, who have donated £593,000 to the Tories.