The best chat up lines of all time you should probably definitely try
You should definitely use these lines at uni. They're guaranteed to work. Probably. You should definitely possibly use these lines at uni and report back to us how they went. Maybe. Please don't.
- "I bet you a pound I can kiss you without touching your lips"
Kiss them anyway and tell them to keep the dollar. Try to avoid their vomit.
- "Quantum mechanics says that if you come back to my place, anything could happen." - Only works on physicists
- "I see you're drinking semi skimmed milk. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to."
- *Stare at their crotch for a few seconds*
"You gonna eat that?"
- Me: "You look like my first wife..."
Her (awkwardly, ofc.): "hahaha, how many times have you been married?"
- "Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? cause YOU'RE SATAN!"
Spend the next few minutes throwing holy water at their face and shouting "the power of Christ compels you!"
- "Do you want to have gooooood sex?"
"Uhmm.. sorry, no?"
"Well now you have to come to my place..."
- "Are you an angle from heaven? Cause you're acute."
- "I wish I was your derivative, so I could lie tangent to your curves."
- "Hey baby, wanna make a huge mistake?"
- "Say, baby. You're pretty, I'm pretty, what say we go back to my place and stare at each other for a while."
- "IF YOU WERE A FRUIT YOU'D BE A FINEAPPLE!"
Laugh hysterically in their face until they agree to go on a date.
- "Do you want to go halfsies on a bastard child?"
- "Are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out"
- "Do you know how I got these guns?"
Point to biceps while flexing
"Lifting children out of poverty."
- "Is your name "my essay"? 'Cause I'm not doing you but I should be."
- "Feel my shirt. Know what it's made of? Cotton."
- "Are you medusa? Cause I'm rock hard." - (Note: only works on classicists. If you use this on anyone else, you will go to jail.)
- "I'm no weatherman, but you can expect 2 inches tonight."
- "If i were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as your answer to this question?" Logically they now have to have sex with you, if they are Data from Star Trek.
- "I don't know if you're in my range, but I'd sure like to take you back to my domain." - Maths student swoons.
- "Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams."
- "Are you sitting on that F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing."
(Note: This only works if the person you are trying to woo is sitting on a keyboard. You may need to provide your own.)
- "Do you have any raisins?"
"Well, how about a date?"
- "Hey, you dropped something."
"Your standards. Please."
- "How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice."
- "Girrrll you must be jamaican....because you're
jamaic- anme crazy!"
- "Are you Copper Tellurium? Because you're CuTe"
- "Girl, what's your equation? It must be pi/3 because you are the 1"
- "Do you know Karate? Because your Body’s Kickin’ me!"
- "You're hotter than the bottom of my laptop"
- "Do I have permission to screenshot your profile? I wanna send Santa a picture of what I want for Christmas"
- "Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!"
- "My magical watch says you aren't wearing any underwear! (I am.) It must be an hour fast"
- "Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk"
- "I can't find my puppy - can you help me find him? I think he went into this secluded, romantic area here..."
- "My friends over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the fittest person in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?"
- "You’re so lovely - you make me want to go out and get a job."
- "There’s a huge sale going on in my bedroom right now. Clothes are 100% off!"
- "Are you the square root of -1? Because you can't be real."
- "Did Sauron forge you in the Sammath Naur? Cause girl, you precious"
- "I see you're playing Tetris, give me a call if you need a long piece."
- "Are you the SAT? Because I'd do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes. With a 10 minute break for snacks"
- "Are you an Xbox? Because I'd play with you in my basement all day."
- "Was your mother a beaver? 'Cause damn!"
- "I hear you're looking for a stud. Well, I've got the STD and all I need is you."
- "If you were a Transformer, you'd be Optimus Fine."
- "Hey, girl. Is your name Wi-Fi? Because we have a connection."
- "I have 4 percent battery remaining. I chose to message you. Did I choose wisely?”