Every friend you’ll make in first year

The first day of university is a little strange, the friends that you make in the first week you will probably never speak to again, its just the way it goes. You will eventually find out their true colours and grow apart or just fall out all together.

We've compiled a list of all the people you will meet in first year, that no one ever thinks to warn you about.

The first time drinker

You’ll see this one in a tin-foil blanket outside the club on the first night. They’ve never had so much as a drop of Buck’s Fizz at Christmas and have massively peaked after five skittle-bombs. They’ll be the best pal of St John’s First Aid team right the way through fresher’s, but maybe not yours - liability.

The one with the boyfriend/girlfriend at home

They go missing every weekend, but you see on Instagram they’ve been to a stately home with bae. The living room in halls will always be occupied when their boyfriend/girlfriend is over, and you’ll have to awkwardly make your beans on toast around their love-in. Don’t worry, they’ll have moved into a semi in the suburbs by next year.

The rugby lads

Nice guys on their own, but absolutely unbearable as a squad. Typical antics include: Chanting and getting you chucked out of pubs, drawing dicks on people’s faces if they fall asleep, and showing you pictures of their team skiing holiday to Val D’Isère. 50% of these people will grow out of this and become functioning members of society. The other half will probably end up running the country.

The ghost course-mates

Lovely people, just flaky as hell. What they get up to in the rest of their life, you’ll never know, but you’ll only ever see them at one lecture each semester. Somehow they still manage to pass, which if anything is a testament to their note-taking.

The one who always wears fancy dress

“Nigel why are you dressed like a banana, we’re only going to the pub?”

“It’s a laugh, mate.”

Nobody laughs except Nigel.

If you can peel back the layers of fake bravado, you could be proper mates. But maybe give them a pep-talk to lose the toga sometimes.

The drunk crier

No matter how great this friend is sober, they’ll turn into a sloppy mess at the stroke of midnight. Kind of like Cinderella in reverse, the journey from civilised person to a ball of snot and tears will be swift and unforgiving. The best way to deal with this is to appoint a designated babysitter on each night out, armed with tissues and a bag of Haribo to console the crier.

The mature student

Always a little awkward when a 40-year-old tries to infiltrate your circle early on. The conversation is a little stunted because, let’s face it, they have no idea about Kendall Jenner, the newest Snapchat filter, or whoever the Chainsmokers are. A brilliant study partner, and someone you can teach your millennial ways to over the course of the year.

The Wonderwall friend

If you don’t know one, it’s probably you. This person truly believes they are the uni equivalent of the Gallagher brothers, cracking out the acoustic guitar and proceeding to shit on the vibe of every party. They truly believe their music taste is far superior and will corner you in the kitchen to tell you that they’re going to start a band (never actually doing so). Prepare some stock responses about how Oasis’ best album is (What’s the Story) Morning Glory? and the unsung hero of Manic Street Preachers is, in fact, the drummer.

The woke one

Catch them outside reception wearing an Amnesty International t-shirt and foisting leaflets on anyone who’ll listen. Head of the debate soc and winner of all Facebook arguments, this friend is a powerhouse. BUT, after a few beers, you’ll be looking to the nearest exit to get out of those political debates.

The ride-or-dies

When all the wishy-washy friends you make in first year split off, these ones will still be there. Ready to hold your hair back if you’re being sick, listen to all your troubles, and call you up with “emergencies” when you’re on bad dates. Hold on to these ones, as they’ll be around long past graduation.

If you’re a bit of an introvert or can’t face the rugby chants, check out new app MoodChimp. It's an app that has two dimensions, dating and social. You can make friends that you share interests and hobbies with, and find friends based on whether you think you’d actually get on. So, instead of enduring the rest of this lot, you can actually find ride-or-dies you like with MoodChimp.

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