15 hilarious things people asked librarians (before the internet was invented)
Dumb questions didn't begin when Google and Yahoo were invented. Before the internet was invented, everyone had the same stupid questions they wanted answering, but instead you had to phone up a library and ask them to look into it for you. Really.
The New York Public Library have now begun sharing the odder queries they have been asked over the years, and they are somewhat brilliant. Remember, people phoned up the library to ask these things. Things like...
15) This brilliant question...
"Has ma'am tried 'Playing a cello with your cock out - dos and do nots' the updated edition?"
14) This horrifying question...
"You'll probably want to go with something fucking frightening, to set the mood for this abomination of a wedding betwixt man and bear. Something like Tubular Bells?"
"Yes... teddy is ever so into that one. Thank you, kind stranger."
13) This humble brag right here...
"What about my massive collection of glorious jewellery? Where would I sell that? Ahuh. And what do you make, may I ask? Per month?"
12) This person who wouldn't look this up at the library, or look up at a clock...
11) This emergency...
"I need to know the name of a wig maker in Miami and Napoleon's horse - quickly now! Never you mind, why..."
10) Moses the celeb
Apparently all lines at "dial-a-priest" were busy that day.
9) This wannabe hypnotist
They were right not to trust a hypnotist who insists on teaching you in person. They have bad intentions.
8) Material on the psychology and behaviours of sea-lions please
"Never you mind what that honking noise is. The relationship between a man and his sea-lion is his own private business..."
7) "When one travels West in the US, and crosses the desert, does one cross on camels?"
"One is concerned about the etiquette of such a journey."
6) Life cycle of an eyebrow hair?
People became decadent quite quickly, after the war years.
5) "If the empire state building is the highest building in the world, what is the smallest?"
"Some sort of tiny doll's house someone's built somewhere? Ok, thanks. Now, if the Empire State building ISN'T the tallest building in the world, what is the smallest building then, hmmm? Smartarse."
4) This concerned werewolf...
Who doesn't know how moons work.
3) "A long time in a dark cave...?"
The above reads:
I want to read a Spanish novel. I think the title is "A long time in a dark cave".
Reader was asked if he wanted "One hundred years of solitude" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. He did.
2) This one we actually want answered...
Were squirrels less douchebaggy back then? Were artists constantly shooting squirrels as a warning to other squirrels? We need to know.
1) "What would my new made up word sound like?"
"I've made up a word - siuol - what does it sound like?"
"The word you made up - the word you just said to us down the phone - what does it sound like?"
"Yes, that one."
"It sounds like how you said it."