This is one student you don't want to match with on Tinder
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A lot of people have trouble with writing their Tinder bio. Do I tell them everything about myself? Do I tell them nothing? Do I list all my A-Levels or just the ones where I got above a C.
And, of course, do I mention that I'm mainly on Tinder for the purposes of harvesting organs.
Meet Nicole
Meet Nicole. She's 27 and studies at the University of Illinois. She's pretty, she's incredibly honest and she's looking for a healthy, trusting man with both his kidneys, for unspecified purposes.
And oh yeah, one more thing. Nicole is going to steal your f*cking organs.
Nicole is going to steal your fucking organs pic.twitter.com/Zweegm7PBS
— 🍒 (@ghxstpuke) October 18, 2016
Breath of fresh air
Unsurprisingly, everyone who's seen Nicole's Tinder profile seems to be up for it. It's just refreshing to see such an honest Tinder bio for once.
Besides, there's something about her profile that makes her stand out from others. She's clearly someone who knows what she wants.
Nobody cares that that happens to be blood.
@ghxstpuke I'm in. The possibility of danger turns me on.
— Kevin GHOULcia🎃 (@theKevinGarcia_) October 18, 2016
@ghxstpuke I'm feeling pretty lonely. Hook a brother up, maybe?
— Carl (@dexter111344) October 19, 2016
@ghxstpuke @GrossRexman worth it. had sex.
— Luke (@slaymerica) October 18, 2016
Sadly, only 7% of the world's population is O Negative. And even less of those people have healthy kidneys, livers and are non-smokers.
Worse, only heavy sleepers need apply.
@ghxstpuke @turnageb "Heavy sleepers a plus"
— Dave La Llorona (@daveexmachina) October 18, 2016
Really heavy sleepers.
@ghxstpuke @briangaar "Doesn't mind waking up in a bathtub full of ice."
— Sammy Post (@SamePost) October 19, 2016
@ghxstpuke turn ons: sharpened scalpels, undisclosed locations, nice long soaks in bath tubs filled with ice water...
— Tom Guffey (@tomguff) October 18, 2016
With a terrible taste in films.
@ghxstpuke @AposThriceGreat wild guess that "Seven Pounds" is her favorite movie.
— Blaza Duval (@BLAZADUVAL) October 18, 2016
So if you're looking for love, are healthy, in Illinois and are an O-Negative non-smoker with excellent kidney health are you in luck. Nicole may just be the love of your (short) life.
Like this? Check out the latest Tinder update (which is apparently perfect for couples)
