A look inside David Cameron' and Hugh Grant's secret club
David Cameron was accused earlier this year of putting a private part of his anatomy (lets be frank here - he either means his sausage and/or one of his meatballs) into a dead pig's mouth at a drinking society event.
The Piers Gaveston Society is a secret drinking society at Oxford University, named after a rumoured lover of King Edward II, who ended up dying after having a red hot poker inserted into his anus.
But what is the secret drinking society really like on the inside?
Hugh Grant, pictured at a Piers Gaveston Society drinking event.
"'Rum baba and fornication is what we need,' decreed our hostess. How successful we were at conquering the night I do not know, but it was certainly a more light-filled evening than many midsummer ones." One anonymous party-goer told the London Evening Standard
"Named after a favourite, and perhaps lover, of Edward II, who, legend has it, was executed by a group of barons by being impaled on a red-hot poker, the Piers Gaveston Society is a secret society which holds one big midsummer party every year. Male students go in drag, females in the sort of hooker costumes Kate Beckinsale sports on the streets of LA every Halloween. It has always been a post-Finals, drug-fuelled, sexy riot."
"While I was an undergraduate, Nat Rothschild hosted it at one of his many properties, a set of farm outbuildings that were illuminated for the night by candles stuck in pigs' heads. I drove, which meant at the end of the evening I had to rescue about 11 male friends, one of whom, a strapping 6ft 3in man, dressed in a nightie, was sitting in a muddy cowbyre weeping and begging "Please take me home".
These days, the tone has changed to something altogether more sinister. Guests all came by coaches and, at a certain point on the road, the driver stopped and members of the society removed all the guests' mobile phones, keys and ID. They then blindfolded everyone and drove to a field in the base of a valley, where there were three marquees, one with trance music, one playing rock, and one with a sign saying, simply, "Drugs".
"There was everything there: heroin, crack, acid, with everyone just queueing up to have more," recalls the guest. The night descended into a huge, ugly orgy."
David Cameron at an Oxford Ball in 1987. Did he attend one of the events, as described by Lord Ashcroft?
If someone really did take a photo of David Cameron putting his thing into a dead pig's mouth, they'll have had to have got it past a lot of security. The club's events are kept top secret, and cameras are confiscated at the door, though photos of Hugh Grant and Nigella Lawson at these events show that it is possible.
What everyone agrees happens at these events though are that the society is made up of 12 male undergraduates, there's a lot of drink, drugs, and (for some reason) pig heads. If that's not enough for you, there's also orgies.
'Everyone secretly longs to be invited to the Piers Gav, because it's exclusive, regardless of what they might say,' confirms one alumnus of University College. 'It's basically a very well-organised orgy.' - one person told Tatler.
The drugs are rampant:
'Imagine a Colombian branch of Superdrug, except where everyone is called Tarquin.'
Nigella Lawson pictured at an event with some kind of bat on her head.
The society is made up of former public schoolboys - the type who very often go onto become MPs, or rumour has it, PM (which from now on stands for Pig Molester, right?). Famous attendees include Ian Hislop and Tom Parker Bowles. Boris Johnston is also rumoured to have attended, and we all can't wait to hear what he did to top Cameron's alleged act of pig lust.
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