9 things Northerners Learn when They Move South for Uni
1. Your accent will never be right.
If you don't sound Northern enough, people will question your credentials- If you're too Northern everything you say is going to be mimicked for eternity. You didn't even realise you had an accent, but trust me, there's only so many times you can listen to Hugo from a gated community in Surrey pretend to be Peter Kay.
2. Southerner's actually wear coats on nights out.
Any Northerner knows the dress code for a night out is survival of the fittest, and it's perfectly acceptable to habitually wear less than a triathlete in Arctic conditions, a system devised to weed out the weaklings, or as they're more commonly known- Southerners.
3. When you meet anyone from the same third-ish of the country as you, you become instant best friends.
And if you've been to the same clubs and thrown up in the same kebab shops back home, that friendship is definitely going to last. Well, at least while you're in those grotty club toilets where you'll exchange numbers, then never speak again.
4. You'll miss proper chippies more than your family.
And by proper chippy, we're talking £2.50 for the works. Fish, chips, mushy peas, scraps AND gravy (even a cheeky can of pop if you're friendly with the guy behind the counter)- Not some 15 quid fancy shit garnished with rocket and caviar. And if you come to the South looking for curry sauce, gravy or a nice artery straining parmo after a night out, just turn round and hop back on the train before it's too late.
5. Cliché, but the South is expensive.
You'll struggle to find a pint for under a fiver and you quickly realise that even after all those times you woke up still fully clothed on your mates couch, covered in garlic mayo, claiming you'll never drink again, those mid-week 90p vodka mixers will always have a special place in your heart.
6. "Where are you from?" is the toughest question you'll face.
You'll quickly learn that no Southerner has ever been further North than London. You usually opt for "erm, have you heard of Leeds? Yeah, near there..." when you actually live in a countryside village on the outskirts of Hull, to which you'll probably receive the response- "So is that near Newcastle?"
7. At some point, you will endure the Great British Bread Debate.
The outcome is inevitable and usually finishes like a game of Monopoly. No one has ever finished a game of Monopoly. Or at least come out alive anyway.
8. Northerners are friendlier.
No explanation needed, but Northerners will talk to anyone. Strangers, animals, anyone. And if we stop for a "quick chat" you'll probably be there a few days at least. You'll be lucky if you try to speak to a Southern student at the bus stop and they don't alert the authorities.
9. You'll have a soft spot for the South, but nothing is quite like going back to the beautiful North.
Home sweet home.