7 things you realise after a trip home

Uni Memes Funny

Though it was only a little while ago, the Easter holidays seem a distant memory. Whether you used the break to detox, to take advantage of the home-cooking or simply to use a washing machine capable of actually cleaning, a trip home is more than a catch-up with your family. But going is the easy part - it's coming back to uni which is difficult.

1. You really do live in squalor

It didn't seem so bad before. Sure, it was a little untidy... a delicate ecosystem, if you will. It had character and inbuilt security - if anyone came in to kill you, they'd more likely trip over your floordrobe. Having been home, though, you start to notice it isn't just the mess... there's the suspicious stains, the bizarre smell in the sitting room, the fact when you wake up in the morning you can't see your door... y'know, just the usual.

2. Dry towels count as a luxury item

Was this damp when you left for home? Eugh.

3. You didn’t do anywhere near the amount of work done you needed to

Frankly, this shouldn't surprise anyone. But you had so many plans, so many good intentions... The worst of it is that home provided the ideal environment: the peace, the quiet, the time. Now you're rushed, around all your friends and short on money and food. Rushed revision on an empty stomach? Why? Just why?!

4. You do not have a balanced diet

You knew this already, of course, but there's nothing like a couple of weeks at home to remind you. Christmas was different... Christmas was, well, Christmas: booze, heavy meals, booze, boozy puddings, more booze. There's a trend there, if you can spot it.

The Easter break, however, was a time for waking up with a clear head (what is that bizarre 'fresh' feeling? Oh yeah, no hangover...), going to sleep feeling pleasantly full and never, ever finding Dorito dust underneath your nails. This first week back? Yeah, not so much.

5. Revision with friends is completely nonsense

You're all panicked from the unproductive break and all determined to 'knuckle down', whatever that actually means. What better way to work than a group session? ...and then you realise literally anything else would help you get things done. Repeat after me: catch-ups do not help you pass exams.

6. Your parents are way more organised than you ever gave them credit for

Since leaving home for the first time, every subsequent visit has taught you a peculiar truth: your parents really have their shit together. They really are 'grown-up'.

You head back, complain about a dodgy landlord, your number of contact hours and the upcoming exams. You've even had to deal with council tax (!) They simply give you a smile which says: "Aw, honey, we love you... but you have no idea..." While you live with cockroaches (take that as you will), they managed to find a place big enough and nice enough to raise you in. While you consider breakfast pizza a legitimate thing, they've managed to feed you for at least 18 years and haven't killed you yet. While you complain of afternoons at the library, they managed to hold down jobs while coping with sleepless nights, getting up every few hours to deal with screaming infants. Just... holy shit, they're properly functioning adults.

7. If you want to reach the summer, you’ve got to get through exams first

Some people call it the summer term. But a week in, and you're releasing it's simply 'The Term of the Fear', which sounds like an old Hammer Horror film and probably should be.

...but despite all of this, Goddamn it feels good to be back.