12 things you won't miss about uni at all
Hurrah: uni is winding down. Exams are over, houses have been drunk dry and the clubs are practically dragging people off the streets for their 'end of term' blow-outs.
Though the shackles of revision are off and days can be spent sipping free frappe's in the park, there's a smattering of sadness over it all: you won't see these people for a while and if you're graduating, it might not be not for years, if ever. These people, the city, the memories... raise a glass to the end of an era and all that. But though there's a lot to mourn, there's a lot to be glad you're leaving behind...
Uni exposes one to an awful lot of things - but the list does not include fine dining. Bowls of pasta-based mediocrity lost their charm long ago and there's only so many times cereal makes a decent substitute for a proper supper. If you're headed home for summer, look forward to beholding the marvel of a stocked fridge. Miracles do happen...
2. Mysterious hairs in the bathroom
1. Because we're all tired of playing: what kind of hair is that?
2. Because we're all tired of playing: lump of hair or clumsy spider?
3. Hearing your housemates having sex
...and then awkwardly making eye contact as they run in just a towel from their room to the bathroom (or vice versa...)
4. Everything in the kitchen being sticky
One time my kitchen was so grotesquely oily a fly flew into a cupboard and got stuck there. The spider who came to eat it was wearing Wellington boots.
5. Having to make group decisions about everything
University: convincing flatmates communism is a sham since forever.
6. Never having anything suitable to wear... ever...
If you want dry clothes, they must go in the dryer and shrink. If you want clothes which fit, accept they will take a full term to try.
8. Exams (duh!)
9. Passive aggressive notes
Who's a clever little note-writer, then?
10. The 'whose turn is it to do the bins?' stand-off
The fridge stank. The pizza boxes were stacked so high, it looked like an office block for the Borrowers. Half-crushed lager cans rattled with whatever the hell was living in that corner of the kitchen. But no more...the war is over. Nobody won.
11. That flatmate who stresses over everything
12. Finally... the toilet roll nightmare
It always seemed to be you buying the damn stuff, which was a bum deal. Nevermind, it's time to wipe those memories away forever.
(Pun five, anyone?)