10 Xmas songs it's ok to listen to in October
Christmas is that special, magical time of year that you can hear George Michael's name on the radio and he hasn't been in a reckless driving incident. It's the same time of year that Noddy Holder remembers why he's famous.
In the meantime here are some more obscure Christmas songs to get you in the mood, or to put on loudly and on repeat in order to piss off your housemates. Like a lot of Xmas songs, they range from happy to depressing; so sit down, grab a minced pie and get ready to put your mood on shuffle.
10) A Christmas Duel - The Hives & Cyndi Lauper
Possibly one of the best Christmas songs ever made. It's amazing that a song with these lyrics can make you feel so goddamn Christmassy:
"I bought no tree this year
And I slept with your brother
I wrecked your Daddy's car
And went down on your Mother."
It gets great at around the 1:30 mark, so make sure you give it a chance.
9) Tim Minchin - White Wine in The Sun
A great and funny Christmas song. For people who love Xmas songs, but wish they contained a ruthless and funny breakdown of what Xmas actually is within the lyrics:
"And yes, I have all of the usual objections
To consumerism, the commercialisation of an ancient religion
To the westernisation of a dead Palestinian
Press-ganged into selling Playstations and beer
But I still really like it"
8) Amanda Jenssen - Another Christmas
A beautiful song from Amanda Jenssen. Another Christmas starts off bleak and gets bleaker, whilst slipping in the bombshell that there is no Santa Claus, just in case there are any kids out there listening who haven't yet heard this depressing news:
Another empty house,
Another reason there is no Santa Claus.
May all your Christmases be white, though mine are blue."
7) Laura Marling - Goodbye England (Covered in Snow)
On average it takes people twenty listens to this song to realise it is a Christmas song. Like most of Laura Marling's songs it's beautiful, haunting and should come with a "suicide risk" warning label. Her songs are great, but tend to lower the mood of whoever is listening to it. Try to listen to an upbeat Xmas song immediately afterwards:
6) Sufjan Stevens - "I'm a Christmas Unicorn"
Your song is off to a bold start when you state "I'm a Christmas Unicorn, in a uniform made of gold. With a billy-goat beard and a sorcerer's shield". All claims we doubt Sufjan can back up, but it has a great rhyming structure.
This jaunty 12 minute song is happy enough to make me forget the sad fact that unicorns don't exist, and that the closest you'll ever see is a horse strapped to a horn, which is sad, or some corn strapped to a eunuch, which is depressing and will make you hungry.
5) Flyleaf - What's This? (Nightmare Before Christmas)
The Nightmare Before Christmas is classic Christmas viewing. There's a whole album of remakes of the songs from the film, including tracks from Marylin Manson, Rodrigo y Gabriela and (probably the best track on the album) Sally's Song covered by Fiona Apple. "What's This" is by far the most Christmassy.
4) Arcade Fire - A Very Arcade Xmas
All Christmas songs should be more Arcade Fire-y, but if not, we'll settle for Arcade Fire being a bit more Christmassy.
3) Muppet's Christmas Carol - It Feels Like Christmas
The Muppet's Christmas Carol is the definitive version of a Christmas Carol. The role of Rizzo was made for Rizzo, and reading the Dickens' version just isn't as good unless you imagine Kermit as Bob Cratchit.
This song is one of the more upbeat Christmas numbers in the film.
2) Monty Python - Ho Ho Fuckin' Ho
This song is a Christmas classic. It makes some fairly specific accusations about what Santa Claus is really up to, and Mrs Claus refers to Santa as the C-Word.
Perfect companion piece to their "Every Sperm is Sacred".
1) Family Guy - All I Really Want For Christmas
The cast of Family Guy singing about what they want for Christmas this year. Unsurprisingly Quagmire asks for "Japanese girls with no restraint, just to choke me till I faint" before letting out a giggity. That's the Christmas spirit summed up right there.
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