10 signs your life peaked during freshers week
In honour of Everybody Wants Some, which follows a group of college students in the weeks leading up to their first lecture, we're taking a look at 10 reasons why your life peaked during Fresher's Week.
Trust us, life won't get better than these few weeks.
At no other point in your life will a group of perfect strangers stand around you half naked, chanting and demanding you "chug" a strange liquid in order to get into a hockey club. Enjoy it whilst it lasts.
9) No-one knows who the hell you are
This is pretty much your last chance for you to go somewhere with no-one else knowing who the hell you are. At work, they'll have seen your CV and have a pretty good idea about your past. During Fresher's Week you could be whoever the hell you want to be, and as long as you keep your lies realistic, you can pretend to be whoever you want, with minimal consequences.
Pretend you're a hat-wearing, VW-driving American hippie, and no-one will know otherwise, as long as you nail the accent and constantly wear flip-flops.
8) It's your last week with no responsibilities whatsoever
You've still got a few years of not having to worry (too much) about careers, bills and prostate exams. But this will be the last week you don't have to worry about any of these things AND you don't have to worry about lectures, essays and exams either. Party time.
7) After this week there are fewer opportunities to ride a friend downstairs on a mattress
Very few indeed. Make the most of it.
6) Drink will never be this cheap ever again
Fresher's Week offer the cheapest drinks of your life. All the bars try and get students to be loyal by offering ridiculously / health-riskingly-cheap drinks during freshers week, hoping you'll like the place and come back when the drinks return to their usual (massive) price. Don't get used to the 50p shots, they only last one (messy) week.
5) After Fresher's Week, your pranks will likely count as crimes
During Fresher's Week you can do "student pranks" safe in the knowledge that pretty much anything you do won't land you in jail. Things like covering your housemate's car in cling-film just to annoy them are, for some reason, acceptable and funny when you do it during Fresher's Week, but an incredibly annoying / borderline criminal if you do it at any other time in your life. Make the most of it now.
4) You can talk to anyone with no reason whatsoever
During Fresher's Week you can talk to anyone about anything you like, and no-one will find it weird in the slightest. After fresher's week, try walking up to people and announcing what A-Levels you got and asking them to be your friend, see how they react. It won't be the same as in Fresher's Week, that's for sure.
3) You can invite yourself to house parties (and it won't be a police matter)
During Fresher's Week you can pretty much show up to any party you like around campus, introduce yourself and no-one will bat an eyelid. "I'm Carl" is a good enough explanation for the question "why are you in our kitchen?".
After Fresher's Week you will never be able to show up to a house party uninvited ever again, and your "I'm Carl" explanation is likely to be met with the sentence "thank you, Carl, now if you'd just lie down on the floor I'd like sit on you like a burglar until the police arrive."
2) You'll never party quite this hard again
You might try to party this hard again briefly in your thirties, but everyone nearby will feel sad for you and assume you're divorced. And you'll pay for it the next day.
1) It's ok to get a little weird
No matter how drunk you get, there's always going to be someone during Fresher's Week who's drunker, and if you do something weird there's always a guy (usually dressed in a toga and carrying a fish tank) in the floor above you who's weirder, detracting attention away from you. Use this one last opportunity to be as drunk and as weird as you like, before everyone sobers up and uni gets serious. Invite everybody to try telepathy (a la Everybody Wants Some) and see what happens, whilst you can get away with these kinds of things.
Everybody Wants Some is the latest film from Richard Linklater (Dazed and Confused, Boyhood, Before Midnight). It's been called "so funny it should be illegal" and "A perfectly pitched blast of nostalgia, which will transport you to that time in life when the future stretched before you and anything seemed possible."
In cinemas from the 13th May. Want to keep the party going? Win a trip to Amsterdam for two in our exclusive competition.