10 student drinks you should avoid at all costs during Freshers' Week
If you can avoid these for your entire life you should.
Purple, AKA "snakebite and black" is made from cider, beer, blackcurrant squash and pure evil. You know it's going to be a bad drink when you aren't specifying what type of beer or cider you're getting. At Warwick, where it's bizarrely popular, it's sometimes made with cloudy "Old Rosie" cider, a cloudy 7.4% strong cider which tastes so gross you shouldn't drink it but makes you so drunk at the same time that you no longer care about flavour.
Tomorrow's vomiting session.
That picture above looks good doesn't it? That's how they get you. It's like how lions look like giant kittens and you'd quite like to stroke them.
Sambucca isn't like other shots (delicious tequila, for example) that leave an amazing taste in your mouth. All you're left with is a drunk feeling and the sensation you've eaten some year old liquorice all sorts which have begun to ferment.
8) "Bin juice"
There are a number of universities where it's tradition to make a huge cocktail in a bin during fresher's week. A "cocktail" might be stretching it a bit. You pour any spirit, beer or wine into a bin and use more wine as a mixer, as well as fruit juice or lemonade, to make a massive drink which you all share out. Calling it a "drink" might be stretching it a bit: you create a disgusting liquid which for some reason is then consumed against all medical and aesthetic advice. You shouldn't drink this. We'd go as far as saying you shouldn't drink any cocktail that has been made in a bin.
It was made in a bin.
7) Cheeky Vimto
Cheeky Vimto is made from WKD Blue (or another blue drink) mixed with port. It's where old age meets becoming an adult.
The problem with this drink is that it's so goddamn good you barely notice how strong it is or how drunk you are, which is very drunk indeed. It tastes so much like Vimto there are rumours that Vimto make their drink by mixing WKD Blue and Port and then meticulously removing all the alcohol.
6) Brain Haemorrhage
They contain one shot of peach schnapps, one tablespoon of Irish cream and a few drops of grenadine. The result is that the Irish cream curdles and starts to resemble brains floating around in your shot glass. Brain Haemorrages are a classic "dare shot" which you buy specifically because they're unpleasant.
Avoid, avoid, avoid. You probably shouldn't drink any drink named after a horrendous medical condition. You wouldn't drink a cocktail named "crabs" would you?
5) The strongest drink on the menu
At some point someone is going to suggest you try the strongest drink on the menu. It's usually absinthe or Wray and Nephew rum. This is usually suggested late at night when you are far too drunk to be able to cope with it. As a shot they taste terrible, because all you can taste is the booze. If you must have the strongest drink on the menu, we suggest you mix Wray and Nephew with a drink called "Ting" which it goes with to create a "Wray and Ting, which is actually delicious. Drinking Wray or Absinthe by themselves is not delicious: It's lethal.
You might die.
4) The centre of the Ring of Fire
In the drinking game Ring of Fire, you all pour a portion of your drink into a central cup, which the loser of the game will consume at the end. It's foul and should never be done, for the same reason you don't mix all your foods together and eat communally from a trough. They're not going to mix well.
Someone always chooses this game to start drinking Baileys. It instantly curdles and makes you feel like you're drinking solid chunks of cheese, and the drink is usually somehow stronger than necking pure meths.
Please take me to hospital.
3) The cheapest drinks on the shelf
When you're looking for booze, you should be looking for great booze deals, not the cheapest drink you can find. These are good drinks that have been reduced, not drinks that were ridiculously low-priced to begin with. Drinks that were ridiculously low-priced to begin with are terrible, and the clues are there. If they're wine, they won't specify a grape. In my time I've come across (and drank) one that was just labelled "wine". It was bad. So bad it probably have breached trade and description laws even if it was just labelled "drink".
What you pay for.
2) The Cement Mixer (or any cocktail you mix in your mouth)
If someone offers to make you a cocktail during freshers, check what they'll be using. If they're using a cocktail mixer, accept. If they tell you it'll all be mixed in your mouth, politely refuse. You wouldn't let them make a sandwich in your mouth, would you?
They're all going to be disgusting, and you're going to breathe them in whilst they make them in your mouth. One of the more disgusting ones, the Cement Mixer is designed to curdle in your mouth and stick to your teeth afterwards. You swill lime juice around your mouth, then have a shot of Baileys and spend the rest of the night picking it off your teeth.
1) K cider
K cider is possibly the best cider out there. At 8.4% it's also one that'll get you off your face long before you realise what's happening. "Me only have two... cansh... I drinky... Me drinky two face ciders in mouth face" you'll protest, as best you can.
Avoid if you enjoy being hangover-free.
Mmmm me likey alcohol mmm argh sick me make mmm bleurgh.
Accidentally drunk one of the above? You might need our 'Best Hangover Cures" Guide
Or, still got an appetite for Fresher's Drinking? Then check out 7 drinking games all freshers should know