You know you're a student when...
by Laura Sexton
Although others may disagree, students have a tough time. Sure, we get given loans and glorious (sort of..) accommodation and what seems to be three or so fun filled years, but in reality students don't have it all- quite literally. Being a student is hard. Probably not quite as hard as what some may call 'the real world', but it's certainly not as easy as Duplo (you remember Duplo, right? Man I miss that stuff...)
I mean, you know you're a student when...
1.) Your cupboards and fridges are filled with the supermarket cheapskate ranges (Value, Basics, etc). And if they aren't filled, that's just because your cupboards are empty... well, apart from that lone can of something that you'll never eat, which your mum packed.
2.) You've spent exams singing songs word-perfect to yourself but unable to remember your student number or any of the info you've spent hours revising. Thanks, brain.
3.) You spend a lot of time mournfully drinking tea, gazing out of the window, watching other people have fun - all because you have no money to go out and actually have fun yourself.
4.) You have 30 second showers that are predominantly cold, so to avoid spending too much on hot water. Either that or they're a mix of hot and cold because the boiler is dodgy and can't make it's mind... not that you'd ever go through the hassle of calling the landlord, of course.
5.) You've done work to avoid cleaning your room, but usually it's the other way around.
6.) Lambrini is your answer to every night out because, hey, it's under £3. It doesn't taste good, and you never thought it would come to this, but no-one can afford to be fussy.
7.) You've spent lunchtimes seriously wondering whether to splash out and 'treat yourself' to a cheap coffee at the union... but later happily gone out and spent £20 on vodka n' cokes.
8.) Eating the gherkins in a McDonald's burger makes you feel healthy.
9.) You spend way too much time looking for coupons and vouchers online... which is probably why you're on this site right now.
10.) You actually get excited buying healthy food, because it's been so long since you've been able to afford any and you're getting worried about your arteries being clogged with fatty food. Hurrah for salad!
11.) A new piece of equipment miraculously appearing in the kitchen can sometimes be the height of your week's excitement and entertainment.
12.) You continue to eat food that you made the night before and forgot to put in the fridge. Sure, it's just been sitting there, in the air, collecting germs.... but still, you can't waste this stuff!
13.) You shop online. A lot. And when I say shop online, I mean online window shopping, because actually buying something would be a grave, grave error.
14.) You're constantly running out of underwear and socks and sometimes just buy replacements because, meh - effort. Not that your bank balance is grateful.
15.) You've lost count of the times you've poured out milk and almost thrown up immediately because of the smell.
16.) When you go home, your parents seem like they live in luxury, partly because the house is just clean.
17.) When in the freezing cold winter, your favourite thing about your boyfriend/girlfriend is that they're warm.
18.) If you don't have food, you eat soup for supper. If you don't have soup, you eat cereal for supper.
19.) You buy vitamins because you regret all the pizza, chips, beer and the rest of it. A few vitamins makes up for all the walk-home kebabs, right?
20.) You walk everywhere - even if it means miles. If transport isn't free, you're not on it. Well, unless it's a night out and the heels are killing you, and then, inexplicably, it's taxi time.
21.) You've been to an event that advertised 'free food' on the poster, even if you didn't want to go to the event.
22.) Pre-drinks are more fun than nights out, but that's usually because that's where your memory of the evening ends.
23.) You've started an essay at midnight... which needs to be handed in for 9am.
24.) You've been the pub to see friends but promised yourself you'd stick to tap water and thought about splashing out and treating yourself to a rather naughty 20p lime cordial. Get you!
25.) ...you've been to the pub to see friends and broken that promise to stick to tap water.
26.) When you don't have lectures, your days are spent sleeping, or watching Jeremy Kyle and Friends reruns.
27.) You've bulk bought takeaway so you can save it for future meals.
28.) You've joined in on a house takeaway you didn't really fancy, just because it saved a) time, b) effort and c) money (perhaps...)
29.) You join countless online survey sites in the chance you might earn £5 or a voucher for a shop you've never heard of.
31.) You've walked past somebody and both of you have done that 'where do I remember you from..?' look... only to remember with horrific clarity a dodgy night spent attached to their lips on the dance floor. Yuck, yuck, yuck.