16 things you do at uni (which would get you instantly fired at work)

You can get away with a lot of stuff at uni which would get you fired the moment you do it at work. No more secretly chugging beer before meetings or sleeping where you work. Sad times.

16) Not turning up on days that start before 10am

Hate to break it to you, 9am is no longer considered unreasonably early once you start work. Even though it clearly is unacceptably early.

15) Setting up a sleeping space on the office floor

It's hard to get woken up. Even harder to get woken up to "pack your book-pillow, you're fired".

14) Or on your desk

This should be acceptable at work. It's your desk, it should be up to you how you use it.

13) Even sneaking off for a quick toilet nap in the office toilet is frowned upon

Even if you multi-task.

12) Not showing up for three days a week because you're hungover

From here on out hangovers are known as "flu".

11) Or your methods for dealing with hangovers

No matter how effective it is, it will get you fired.

10) Coming in despite the hangover, only to throw up in the bin and/or toilets

Or sleeping in the office in a device of your own making...

9) Wearing your pyjamas to meetings

Boss - "Pyjamas? At work? What a fun idea! I'm just kidding, you are of course fired."

8) Forcing new people to do horrendous "initiations"

Spending the whole time at work on Facebook looking at pictures of your night out.

7) Spending the whole day watching crap online and pretending to work

This'll work for about a week before you're in for a firing.

6) Making up drinking games to play during work, then strictly enforcing them

The boss is rarely up for this.

5) Claiming your printer is broken, therefore you should have an extension

You broke it. You broke the printer.

4) Telling your colleagues what Marx would have thought of their idea

Quoting Marx in meetings is no longer acceptable. It'll lead people to bewilderment, and bewilderment will lead to firings.

3) Not doing the reading

Fortunately at work most documents are in pop-up book form.

2) Drawing on your work clothes

At uni it's acceptable to colour in sock-holes with a marker pen. At work, at the very least, your boss will sit you down and tell you they know your clothes are drawn on and demand a written explanation.

1) Falling asleep whilst your boss is talking

Probably the biggest no-no in terms of work etiquette.


Like this? Check out how long you'd survive the Hunger Games (based on your degree)...

Comments