What's the Hogwarts equivalent of your subject?

Ever wish you could study wizard subjects? Sorry to break it to you but if you haven't had your owl by now it's never going to happen. But here are the muggle equivalents. In some cases, they may actually be better than the terrible wizard alternative...

Astronomy is Astronomy

astronomy hogwarts

That's a real one. J.K. Rowling got lazy with this one. Astronomy already exists, and it's weird that wizards are studying it. If you take astronomy in the muggle world, you'd take astronomy at Hogwarts.

Is it as good?

Astronomy in the real world is likely much better than in Harry Potter. In the books we can't remember a single announcement of wizards discovering a new earth-like world orbiting another planet. It's barely clear they've discovered the moon.

Transfiguration = chemistry

transfiguration hogwarts

Transfiguration at its heart is turning stuff into other stuff. You take a rat (for some reason) and turn it into a cup. Now you've taken care of a rat problem and your lack of cup problem. Also you get to drink out of a rat, which is for some reason hygienic in the magical world. Because magic, we guess...

The only subjects that teaches anything even vaguely close to this is chemistry. You take some chemicals, and magically turn them into other chemicals (usually meth, we understand). To most people you are basically doing magic anyway, in the muggle world, even if you can't make a rat-cup.

harry potter

The only subject that even comes close to transforming a cat into actress Dame Maggie Smith, however, is drama studies, who successfully transformed an ordinary human Maggie Smith into Dame Maggie Smith - actress extraordinaire.

Is it as good?

No. No rat-cups.

Muggle studies - Sociology and Psychology

muggle studies

Good news. If you do sociology or psychology you are already taking an advanced level of Harry Potter subject taught at Hogwarts. Unfortunately, that subject is muggle studies.

You've been studying muggle studies for years, since virtually no-one you study has any magical powers whatsoever.

Is it as good?

Better. Muggles have a clearer idea of what muggles do.

Herbology is obviously Botany

herbology hogwarts subject

If you want to be the Neville Longbottom of muggles, botany is the subject for you. You study plants and their crazy properties, but at a more in depth level than they're studied in the Harry Potter universe. In Harry Potter they are taught "don't listen to a mandrake scream - mandrake scream make you die" and no-one thinks to ask "why mandrake make you die?". In botany, you might be curious, which is why botany isn't only the equivalent of herbology - you've got them beat.

Is it as good?

Much better.

Care of magical creatures = Care of regular creatures

care of magical creatures

If you can make your peace with none of the creatures having magical powers, zoology and veterinary sciences are the closest you're going to get to care of magical creatures without becoming a wizard. Sure, real badgers won't find you gold like the nifflers of the Harry Potter world, but if you jam a fiver into their badger set (mind out for TB) you can pretty much get the same effect.

Is it as good?

Not really. Wizards have invisible, flying skeleton horses. We have horses.

History of Magic = History of regular stuff / English Literature

history of magic

A history of magic, the most dull subject in the Harry Potter universe. The real-world equivalent is obviously history, just on this basis. We jest, but history in the real world is surprisingly close to its magical counterpart. After all, for a large part of our history we did believe in all kinds of crazy magical things, including dragons.

In history of magic they talk about witches being persecuted. In real history we have the Salem Witch Trials. In history of magic they have ghosts teaching the class. In real life we have David Starky documentaries.

Is it as good?

Much better, basing it on how boring the Harry Potter find talking about goblin wars.

Ancient runes = Latin

ancient rules

Ancient dead languages that only nerdy folk like Hermione would take? Obviously latin, or possibly ancient Greek. If you've taken either of these subjects, you are the Hermione of muggles.

Is it better?

They both sound equally dull.

Divination = Maths

divination harry potter subject

Divination in Harry Potter is extremely unreliable, and essentially involves trying to guess the future based on very little information. The closest equivalent in the muggle world is game theory in maths, and learning probability. Your guesses will suck, sure, but no more than Trelawney's when she's not in a trance.

Is it as good?

No worse, no better at predicting the future than the divination teacher in the Harry Potter universe.

Charms = French

charms in harry potter

Charms is the essence of what it is to be a wizard. You say a funny word, you wave your wand and some kind of sparks fly out.

The closest we have in the real world is saying funny words and then nothing happening. Which is French. The closest we have to charms is French.

Is it as good?

Depends if you live in France.

Flying lessons = cycling proficiency test

flying lessons

Yep, it's embarrassing for muggles everywhere that the closest subject we have to flying majestically on a broom is when we do our cycling proficiency tests in primary school.

Is it as good?

Can your bike fly? Every played bicycle quidditch? No, it's not as good.

Defence against the dark arts = P.E.

defense against the dark arts

In real-life, there is no equivalent of defence against the dark arts. If anyone attacks your campus using the dark arts - you're f*&$ed.

However, seeing how the defence against the dark arts teacher almost always turns out to be evil, we're going to go ahead and say the equivalent is P.E.

Is it as good?


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