17 rules for getting on with your new flatmates
You're moving in. There are strangers. The first meeting is always awkward. But hey, who knows, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. There are just a few things to remember...
1. Don't steal from the fridge
...or the cupboards, obviously.
2. Don't be too keen
3. Keep chat about home to a minimum
Using your old catchphrases just isn't going to fly - people won't understand. There'll be awkward silences. These are new friends, remember? Introduce your lingo one word at a time. Just stop trying to make fetch happen, it's never going to happen.
And nobody wants to compete against people they've never met - so constantly chatting about people your flatmates have never met is unlikely to go well.
4. Ssshhh about your absent bf/gf
Boooorriiing. We all know they'll be dead to you by Christmas, anyway.
5. Don't steal booze
6. But always share
Admittedly, try and be less terrifying about it.
7. Clean up your own mess
Your mother is obliged by the horrific rules of parenthood to put up with that shit, your new flatmates aren't.
8. But don't be 'that' person
Don't have a go at someone if they don't clean up immediately. Be reasonable.
9. Got a problem? Talk about it
Got an issue with someone? Just be straightforward about it - talking it out is always best. Passive aggressive notes are the fedora of sorting issues. Ie,incredibly lame.
10. Be around & keep your door open
11. Don't go home too often
Difficult to make friends when you're giving off the impression of being this guy...
12. Politics? Religion? Avoid 'em
Just keep schtum.
13. Go out together
...don't just stick with your coursemates.
14. Don't fight over money
Money fights are a different thing, of course.
And yes, this is easier said than done. But accept buying rounds and recognise sometimes you'll have to split some things by group, and not necessarily by the exact amount everyone owes. If you can be cool about a few pence here and there, you'll make better friends in the long run.
15. We all get drunk - no judging
Making snide jokes is hardly friendship 101.
16. The really bad pics? Delete them
Public humiliation of people you've just met is never going to go well.
But the number 1 rule?
17. Never, ever sleep with your flatmate
YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO MAKE THIS WORK.
Like this? Check out how not to get murdered at university...