16 weird and hilarious websites to procrastinate on
In an attempt to write an article on procrastination, I ended up wasting time on these 18 websites. They range from hilarious (terrible real estate photos is possibly the funniest) to the weird (how long do you think you could spend on a website that requires you to slap a man in the face with a fish?) but they're all great ways to waste time you should be using to study.
Terriblerealestatephotos.com documents the worst photos posted by real estate agents to the internet. They vary from bizarre furniture set-ups:
To photos where the estate agent have caught someone on camera and decided to upload it anyway:
"Oddly, the current occupant has been kind enough to provide a live demo of the en suite."
To the just plain inexplicable:
Or sometimes just bizarre furniture arrangements:
Freerice.com is a place where you can procrastinate until you've fed a starving nation. It's a quiz site with adaptive difficulty that donates 10 grains of rice for every correct answer you give.
There are a number of categories to choose from, including arts, chemistry and geography, but the best one is probably the vocabulary test. It gets quite tense. About an hour in you start to realise that children out there are starving because you're too stupid to know what "depauperate" means.
I've been addicted to this site for a while for procrastination purposes. Back at uni I personally fed around 10 people for a month thanks to a particularly boring essay about Marx's theory of alienation. I didn't even feel the effect I'd made on them all, which helped make my point in my essay.
3) Don't even reply
Dontevenreply.com is a website where a sociopath contacts people on Craigslist and winds them up as much as possible:
He's possibly the funniest troll on the internet, only slightly less funny than the people he winds up.
4) iPet companion
Much like Chatroulette.com, iPet Companion allows you to connect with something over the other side of the world as long as you don't mind that they have their genitals on display the whole time. Unlike Chatroulette, you'll be communicating with an animal.
You can now play with cats live over the internet, which is always the way that the internet has been heading. iPet Companion allows you to choose a cat you want to play with, and then you get to control their toys like a benevolent god would toy with humans. You can shake the toys, trail them around or, if you're like this jerk, you can wake up a sleeping cat by continually waving a piece of cloth in its face:
Gives new meaning to the term 'internet grooming'.
5) One Star Book Reviews
Onestarbookreview.tumblr.com is a place where the angriest one star book reviews are documented. If you're an English literature student their views may be familiar:
Raisin in the Sun, by Lorraine Hansberry:
“I really hate reading back then stuff like history books.” - Anonymous
Us too, Anonymous, us too.
The Good Soldier by Ford Madox Ford
“It’s like Jane Austen without all the tampon talk.” - Internet Douche
We feel that way about Jane Austen.
The ultimate Lovecraft collection by H.P. Lovecraft
“Lovecraft was a bad writer and I’m glad he died.” - Man With Strong Stance
This guy should write obituaries.
The Second Sex by Simone De Beauvoir
“Who knew that labor was painful because you are attracted to your Dad… or something… might not have paid a ton of attention to that part.” - Honest Reviewer
Love a reviewer who admits their own bias.
6) A guide to crying in New York
Crying in New York is a blog documenting all the best places to cry in New York, accompanied by distressing photos:
"Great for a cry on the go! Grand Central offers a wonderful large escalator from the 7 train up to where the other trains board. If you stay to the right and remain on the the standing side, it can be a wonderful crying experience. With people only in front and behind you, you can feel free to cry without anyone looking or wondering what you’re up to! Great for a 1-2 minute quick cry."
If you're thinking this blog isn't relevant to you because you don't live in New York and aren't clinically depressed you'd be wrong. Its tips on where, why and how to cry can be applied to hundreds of cities across the globe, and are pretty great during essay season.
Someone should get in touch with the author and make sure she's ok.
7) Pictures of people holding a baby with Nic Cage's face
This website delivers what it promises. Pictures of people holding a baby Nic Cage. It's mesmerising, funny and more than a little terrifying.
8) What I would say
This one might actually help you stop procrastinating. What I would say looks at your previous Facebook statuses and generates a status in the style of something you would say. For instance a lot of mine were along the lines of:
If it could tone down on the grammar and drop a few more F-bombs this thing could take over most of my social media profiles and not many of my friends would notice.
9) Buzzfeed minus gifs
"Can you believe this? Here’s another. I know, right? This is it. And this. Oh sure, how about that? This guy hasn’t even heard of it. And that. LOL. Haven’t we all? This. This. WOOOOOOOOO! Okay, that’s almost it. This."
The above is a typical Buzzfeed article without the gifs removed. If you are procrastinating and don't have time to wait for the pictures of cats who think they're people to load try Buzzfeedminusgifs.tumblr.com for a quicker Buzzfeed experience. Expect a lot of articles purely comprised of the word "This."
It's easy during procrastination to fall into a click hole. A click hole is where you find one article and keep clicking the articles at the side of the page until you've realised that 4 days have passed and you're dying of dehydration and you really should get water but that would take up precious energy you could be using to click.
Clickhole.com is a brilliant parody of these sites that keep you clicking. Our favourite articles include "7 Things You Have To Do When Attending Your Own Funeral In Disguise", "Why Do We Have So Many Pictures Of David Duchovny?" and:
But there are hundreds more at the bottom of the click hole. Click. Share. Enjoy.
11) Is it Thursday?
A useful way of finding out if it's Thursday. How else would you know?
12) The Useless Web
The Useless Web is a website which will randomly send you to even more places to waste time on the internet. On my first click it took me to eelslap.com, a website where you control a man with an eel slapping another man in the face:
I spent a good 20 minutes of my life slapping this man with an eel. Ten minutes in it wasn't even fun anymore, but I just kept slapping away. 15 minutes in I started wondering how long ago this website was made and whether the man getting slapped in the face could be dead now. Really makes you think.
13) What should I read next?
For serious procrastinators, this website will give you book recommendations based on what you've previously enjoyed.
It's not as good as asking a friend to recommend a book, but doesn't involve having to admit to your friend that you aren't actually doing your essay but are reading random books for pleasure and would like their advice on what book you should waste your time with next.
14) Pointer Pointer
Pointer Pointer is website that will display a picture of someone pointing at wherever you have placed your cursor. It's more fun than it sounds.
15) Animals sitting on capybaras
Don't know what a capybara is? It's the largest species of rodent in the world. Now you know. The rest of the animal kingdom thinks the capybara is a type of chair:
This blog diligently documents every time a capybara has been sat on by another animal or a fellow capybara. For people who think David Attenborough documentaries don't feature enough animals being used as a seat.
16) Better book titles
17) Cats for gold
You give gold, they give you cats. Cats for gold.
Why are you still here when you could be getting cats for gold?
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