1/3 of students shop online whilst drunk- what they buy is weird

We asked over 800 students whether they've ever shopped online whilst drunk, and what their weirdest drunken purchases were.

33% of students admitted they shop online whilst drunk

Though (thankfully) only 4% said they did it often or very often:

online purchases when drunk

Of those who had shopped online whilst drunk, 76% had regretted something they'd bought:

purchase regrets

This is pretty unsurprising, considering some of the items they'd bought.

Sex toys

1% of students said that a sex toy was the weirdest or most expensive thing they've bought whilst drunk. This figure goes up to two percent if you include people who bought a selfie stick, a Doctor Who sonic screwdriver or an inflatable sheep, all of which could be used as sex toys with a little determination.

One chap bought a "sperm balloon", something we'd prefer not to Google. Feel free to do so yourself and let us know.

4% of students thought their "weirdest purchase" was food. Admittedly one of these purchases as cat food, made by someone who didn't own a cat, but still these were disappointingly non-weird purchases. A lot of other drunk students, however, are much more reckless with their drunk shopping.

Presumably these purchases are paid at least in part with a maintenance loan, leaving the possibility that the students who bought toothbrush holders shaped like a frog, and dildos (so many dildos) will be paying for them well into their thirties.

Bizarre drunken purchase awards

The purchase students make whilst drunk vary from the incredibly mundane (pizza purchases were fairly frequent and large) to the outright inexplicable (cat food bought by someone who has no contact with a cat).

They all paint a picture of bizarre ends to drunken evenings where all internet access should be banned. Here are our awards, in categories

The most sinister purchases:

  • Police evidence bags from America
  • A Chopsaw
  • A spade
  • Cardboard cut-out of a cow

(who is this guy trying to convince he has a cow? Why? We don't know either, but he has to be stopped.)

  • A laser
  • "A return plane ticket to Europe to see my ex"
  • A Drone
  • A spade

Thankfully the above purchases were all made by different people.

The most mundane:

  • A spade
  • Scrabble Letter cushions
  • A vacuum
  • Kinder Egg
  • "Laptop keyboard that wasn't even compatible with my laptop."

Most inexplicable:

  • "Laptop keyboard that wasn't even compatible with my laptop."
  • "Cat food. I don't own a cat."
  • "A goldfish tank even though I have no goldfish"
  • Nappy ointment - (Note: The fact that this gentleman thinks it is a weird thing to buy implies that he does not have a baby)
  • "10p discounted bread from Tesco, carried it around all night"
  • Gold plated cat poo

Most generous:

  • "I bought a lordship title for my partner"
  • "GTA 5 for my boyfriend"
  • "Sent a giant dick to my ex, from Shipadick.com"

Most selfish:

  • I ordered £30 worth of domino's for myself.
  • iPhone 6+
  • £60 onesie

Most embarrassing:

You'd think the most embarassing purchases would come from the 1% of students that bought sex toys, but no. One student bought One Direction tickets, and now must forever live with the shame.

Drunken purchases PETA should be concerned about:

  • A fish
  • A hamster
  • A life size giraffe

More commonly known as a 'giraffe'.

Saddest portrait of a drunken night:

  • "Ordered 20 packets of cous-cous and not even one I like"
  • Potted plants
  • Shares

Un-regrettable purchases:

  • Mighty ducks boxset
  • Skydive

Things we're too afraid to Google:

  • Sperm balloon

Horrifying prizes from the Generation Game

The full list of drunken purchases reads like an absurd and horrifying list of prizes from the generation game. Keep that in mind whilst you read the rest:

  • £60 onesie
  • 1000 loom bands
  • 12 packs of beef joints
  • 3kg bag of pasta
  • 60 McDonalds chicken nuggets
  • 850 ounces of bugle crisps
  • A blender
  • A blow up unicorn horn hat for my sisters cat
  • A cauliflower
  • A fancy dress costume
  • A fish
  • A goldfish tank even though I have no goldfish
  • A hamster
  • A holiday
  • A Japanese boob window jumper
  • A knitted meerkat
  • A laser
  • A life size giraffe
  • A lolly from them toilet attendant people
  • A massive subway with a horrendous amount of filling
  • "A mini Grand Piano from eBay... Had to cancel that order."
  • A mountain bike
  • A pack of mince
  • A return plane ticket to Europe to see my ex
  • A sex toy
  • A space hopper
  • A t-shirt with a cat in space on it
  • A toothbrush holder shaped like a frog
  • A Vacum
  • A vibrator
  • A wedding dress
  • A whole cooked chicken from a dodgy kebab shop
  • Adult Sized Milk Costume
  • Alcohol
  • An inflatable hot tub
  • An inflatable sheep
  • An iPad Air 2
  • An old-fashioned mens watch from a shopping channel
  • Ankle weights for exercises
  • Annie mac tickets
  • Babybels
  • Baileys bottle halloween costume
  • Blow up sheep
  • Brazil nuts from Amazon
  • Breathalyser (Ironically)
  • Butter pats
  • Car
  • Cardboard cut out of a cow
  • Cat flap
  • Cat food, didn't own a cat
  • Cat leash
  • Chapstick
  • Cheese grater
  • Chicken (only thing I buy when drunk)
  • Chips cheese and curry sauce (never again)
  • Chopsaw
  • Claridges afternoon tea
  • Colour changing heat proof mat for straighteners/curling irons
  • Dildo
  • Doctor Who Sonic Screwdriver
  • Enough kebabs to feed a small family
  • Epilator
  • Food processor
  • Frozen onion rings
  • Gladiator sticks and space hoppers
  • Gold plated cat poo
  • Gromit colour changing mug
  • GTA 5 for my boyfriend
  • Hair extensions
  • Harmonica
  • Holiday to Croatia including flights apartments and car hire
  • "I bought a retro football I thought would be worth a fortune...it wasn't."
  • "I came very close to buying mcbusted VIP tickets"
  • "I left my amazon account logged in on my phone, and on a night out my mates found it hilarious to purchase a massive boxset of amateur porn on my account (which I have quickly returned)"
  • "I once bought a lordship title for my partner."
  • "I woke up to find an engagement ring costing about 40 grand in my basket. if drunk me was a little more stupid i could be in a very bad way. Oh, and I'm male+single."
  • iPhone 6+
  • Juice maker
  • "Kebab *shudder*"
  • Laptop
  • "Laptop keyboard that wasn't even compatible with my laptop"
  • Lego Death Star
  • Lemon alarm clock
  • Maracas
  • "Mariah Carey light switch sticker?" (This student clearly thinks they are asking a question)
  • Massage Chair
  • "McDonalds meal probably! Or maybe a round of drinks! How depressing!"
  • Mighty ducks boxset
  • Nappy ointment
  • Nexus 7 Tablet
  • Nuts
  • One Direction Tickets
  • "Ordered 20 packets of cous cous and not even one I like" - How??
  • Pikachu phone cover
  • Playstation
  • Pokémon cards
  • Police evidence bags from America
  • Potted plants
  • Prada bag
  • Remote control bat
  • Remote control speed boat
  • Scrabble Letter cushions
  • Selfie stick
  • Sex toys
  • Shares
  • "Sent a giant dick to my ex, from Shipadick.com"
  • Skydive
  • Sparkly hot pants
  • Sperm balloon
  • Tea towels
  • Teeth whitening strips
  • Toy monkey with a miniature symbol
  • Unicycle
  • Weekend away to Portugal
  • "Last April, I bought 4 inflatable seagulls after a night out. I don't know why I ever thought that would be a good idea..."
  • Xbox One
  • 10p discounted bread from Tesco, carried it around all night
  • £300 sneakers

For more things students do whilst they're drunk see our survey which revealed half of students have shown up to lectures drunk. For more info on this short survey contact james.felton@studentmoneysaver.co.uk or follow him on Twitter.